The Bat-Blog has a new look again. It doesn't have any bats this time, but it's got black birdies which look a bit like bats, and I'm going to pretend that they're robins, so that's ok.
On a totally different note, we moved bunk beds into our room for me and my kid sister.
bunk beds
are
brilliant.
cheerio
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Pig Girls Don't Fly
Pig Girls Don't Fly by Fergie
♪La la la la*
♪La la la la*
The smell of the birdies lingers on me now
As they make their flight back to their hometown
I need two big wings so I can fly too, baby
To be in the clouds just flying
With clarity, peace, serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That there is something I wanna do
It’s personal, myself and I we wanna stop rolling around in
doo
And I really miss it like a child misses her blanket
And I can’t really go on with this life
It’s time to be a pig bird now
But pig girls don’t fly
Don’t fly, don’t fly, don’t fly
La la la la♪
*According to the book Barnyard Dance, "three singing pigs go 'la la la.'"
Friday, August 23, 2013
How To Get More Than Three Wishes
There are a few old stories out there in which a Poor Humble Man encounters something like a bottle, or a lamp, or a packet of crisps which is the home of some sort of Genie who grants him three wishes. If you've seen Disney's Aladdin, then you know that you're not supposed to wish for more wishes.
BUT
There is a fool-proof, idiot-proof, genie-proof method of getting as many wishes as you want, and this is it:
How To Get More Than Three Wishes by Elizabeth
The key to using this method is to have at least two people.
1. Player 1 finds the vessel containing the Genie. For now, I'll assume it's a lamp.
2. Player 1 rubs the lamp, Genie comes out, offers him three wishes.
3. Player 1 uses up his three wishes.
4. Player 1 hides the lamp in a place where Player 2 can find it.
5. Player 2 finds the lamp.
6. Player 2 rubs the lamp, Genie comes out, offers him three wishes.
7. Player 2 uses up his three wishes.
8. Player 2 hides the lamp in a place where Player 1 can find it.
9. Player 1 finds the lamp.
10. Player 1 rubs the lamp, out comes Genie, Genie offers him three wishes.
11. Player 1 uses up his three wishes.
12. And so on.
It's a bit like the game of The Travelling Lemon in Cabin Pressure, only this way you get three wishes each time you have a turn.
You might think that this method could work with the idea of "see a penny, pick it up, and all the day you'll have good luck," but it doesn't, because a lot of people forget that there's a second part to the verse which goes something like "see a penny, let it lay, bad luck you'll have for all the day."
Here's what you might think would happen:
1. Every night, leave a penny next to your bed.
2. Every morning, pick up the penny.
3. Have good luck all day.
4. Every night, leave the penny next to the bed.
BUT
Here's what really happens:
1. Every night, leave a penny next to your bed.
2. Have bad luck all night because you left the penny on the ground.
3. In the morning, pick up the penny.
4. Have good luck all day.
5. At nighttime, leave the penny next to the bed
6. Have bad luck all night again.
You could argue that the verse talks only about having bad luck in the daytime, not the nighttime. But the thing is, night is part of a day, because a day lasts for 24 hours and there's no special time set aside particularly for nighttime. And, anyway, I think it's always daytime somewhere in the world like in the song "It's 5:00 Somewhere." That song's always bothered me. I hate it when the singers stop singing to talk to each other. It completely defeats the purpose of singing. I apologize if you're a huge fan of that song.
Anyway, I'm tired and I want to watch Doctor Who. Good night!
BUT
There is a fool-proof, idiot-proof, genie-proof method of getting as many wishes as you want, and this is it:
How To Get More Than Three Wishes by Elizabeth
The key to using this method is to have at least two people.
1. Player 1 finds the vessel containing the Genie. For now, I'll assume it's a lamp.
2. Player 1 rubs the lamp, Genie comes out, offers him three wishes.
3. Player 1 uses up his three wishes.
4. Player 1 hides the lamp in a place where Player 2 can find it.
5. Player 2 finds the lamp.
6. Player 2 rubs the lamp, Genie comes out, offers him three wishes.
7. Player 2 uses up his three wishes.
8. Player 2 hides the lamp in a place where Player 1 can find it.
9. Player 1 finds the lamp.
10. Player 1 rubs the lamp, out comes Genie, Genie offers him three wishes.
11. Player 1 uses up his three wishes.
12. And so on.
It's a bit like the game of The Travelling Lemon in Cabin Pressure, only this way you get three wishes each time you have a turn.
You might think that this method could work with the idea of "see a penny, pick it up, and all the day you'll have good luck," but it doesn't, because a lot of people forget that there's a second part to the verse which goes something like "see a penny, let it lay, bad luck you'll have for all the day."
Here's what you might think would happen:
1. Every night, leave a penny next to your bed.
2. Every morning, pick up the penny.
3. Have good luck all day.
4. Every night, leave the penny next to the bed.
BUT
Here's what really happens:
1. Every night, leave a penny next to your bed.
2. Have bad luck all night because you left the penny on the ground.
3. In the morning, pick up the penny.
4. Have good luck all day.
5. At nighttime, leave the penny next to the bed
6. Have bad luck all night again.
You could argue that the verse talks only about having bad luck in the daytime, not the nighttime. But the thing is, night is part of a day, because a day lasts for 24 hours and there's no special time set aside particularly for nighttime. And, anyway, I think it's always daytime somewhere in the world like in the song "It's 5:00 Somewhere." That song's always bothered me. I hate it when the singers stop singing to talk to each other. It completely defeats the purpose of singing. I apologize if you're a huge fan of that song.
Anyway, I'm tired and I want to watch Doctor Who. Good night!
Horton Hears Doctor Who
Horton Hears Doctor Who by Dr. Seuss and Russel T. Davies
Note: I didn't change anything except for where the mayor of Whoville talks and I also cut out a lot of stuff so it's not so long.
On the fifteenth of May, in the Jungle of Nool
In the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool,
he was splashing...enjoying the jungle's great joys...
when Horton the Elephant heard a small noise
So Horton stopped splashing. He looked toward the sound.
"That's funny," thought Horton. "There's no one around."
Then he heard it again! Just a faint tiny yelp
as if some tiny person were calling for help.
"I'll help you!" said Horton. "But who are you? where?
He looked and he looked. He could see nothing there
but a small speck of dust blowing past in the air.
"I say!" murmured Horton. "I've never heard tell
of a small speck of dust that is able to yell.
So you know what I think? why, I think that there must
be someone on top of that small speck of dust!
So gently and using the greatest of care,
the elephant stretched his great trunk through the air,
and he lifted the dust-speck and carried it over
and placed it down, safe, on a very soft clover.
Then Horton stopped walking.
The speck-voice was talking!
The voice was so faint he could just barely hear it.
"Speak up, please," said Horton. He put his ear near it.
"Hello," came the voice. "I'm the Doctor." it said
"If you hadn't been here, we all would be dead!
I'm here to see what all this shaking's about.
But you've saved us, so I need not have come out."
"You mean," Horton gasped, "there are more of you there?
"Oh yes," he said. "this place has breathable air.
Why, I've been to most planets both big and small,
but this one, I think, is the smallest of all!
"I thought that the TARDIS would be much too large,
But I said 'Geronimo!' and down we charged!
Now I'm small as well, as are both of my friends.
Oh, what a great place! Oh, the fun never ends!"
And Horton called back to the Doctor of town
"You're safe now. Don't worry! I won't let you down!"
And they all lived happily ever after.
THE END
Note: I didn't change anything except for where the mayor of Whoville talks and I also cut out a lot of stuff so it's not so long.
On the fifteenth of May, in the Jungle of Nool
In the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool,
he was splashing...enjoying the jungle's great joys...
when Horton the Elephant heard a small noise
So Horton stopped splashing. He looked toward the sound.
"That's funny," thought Horton. "There's no one around."
Then he heard it again! Just a faint tiny yelp
as if some tiny person were calling for help.
"I'll help you!" said Horton. "But who are you? where?
He looked and he looked. He could see nothing there
but a small speck of dust blowing past in the air.
"I say!" murmured Horton. "I've never heard tell
of a small speck of dust that is able to yell.
So you know what I think? why, I think that there must
be someone on top of that small speck of dust!
So gently and using the greatest of care,
the elephant stretched his great trunk through the air,
and he lifted the dust-speck and carried it over
and placed it down, safe, on a very soft clover.
Then Horton stopped walking.
The speck-voice was talking!
The voice was so faint he could just barely hear it.
"Speak up, please," said Horton. He put his ear near it.
"Hello," came the voice. "I'm the Doctor." it said
"If you hadn't been here, we all would be dead!
I'm here to see what all this shaking's about.
But you've saved us, so I need not have come out."
"You mean," Horton gasped, "there are more of you there?
"Oh yes," he said. "this place has breathable air.
Why, I've been to most planets both big and small,
but this one, I think, is the smallest of all!
"I thought that the TARDIS would be much too large,
But I said 'Geronimo!' and down we charged!
Now I'm small as well, as are both of my friends.
Oh, what a great place! Oh, the fun never ends!"
And Horton called back to the Doctor of town
"You're safe now. Don't worry! I won't let you down!"
And they all lived happily ever after.
THE END
The Princess Bride in the Matrix
We were watching The Matrix the other day, and my Ma pointed out that you can make about 10 billion references to The Princess Bride that fit scarily well.
1. Neo: Why do my eyes hurt?
Dozer: You've been mostly dead all day.
Tank: We had Miracle Morpheus give you a red pill to bring you back.
2. (Kung Fu scene)
Morpheus: You're wonderful!
Neo: Thank you! I've worked hard to become so.
3. Agent Smith: Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.
Neo: My name is Neo! You kill my father. Prepare to die!
4. Agent Smith: I hate this place, this zoo, this prison....It's the smell.
Morpheus: It's not that bad. Well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here but the trees are actually quite lovely.
5. (Cypher shoots Tank with the fire gun thing)
Cypher: Well now. That was an adventure. Singed a bit were you?
6. (Neo and Trinity kiss)
Morpheus: Oh, no. No PLEASE. They're kissing again.
7. Morpheus: Welcome to the desert of the real.
Neo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
That's all I can think of at the moment. I think there's more I need to watch the movie again
1. Neo: Why do my eyes hurt?
Dozer: You've been mostly dead all day.
Tank: We had Miracle Morpheus give you a red pill to bring you back.
2. (Kung Fu scene)
Morpheus: You're wonderful!
Neo: Thank you! I've worked hard to become so.
3. Agent Smith: Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.
Neo: My name is Neo! You kill my father. Prepare to die!
4. Agent Smith: I hate this place, this zoo, this prison....It's the smell.
Morpheus: It's not that bad. Well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here but the trees are actually quite lovely.
5. (Cypher shoots Tank with the fire gun thing)
Cypher: Well now. That was an adventure. Singed a bit were you?
6. (Neo and Trinity kiss)
Morpheus: Oh, no. No PLEASE. They're kissing again.
7. Morpheus: Welcome to the desert of the real.
Neo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
That's all I can think of at the moment. I think there's more I need to watch the movie again
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Livin' on a Prairie
Livin' on a Prairie by Bon Jovi and Laura Ingalls Wilder
♪Laura’s used to live in the woods
Now they’re
movin west
The journey
is long and tough
So tough
Ma and Pa
been workin all day
Building
them a house
Made just
out of logs and love
And love
They say
they’ve got to hold on
To what
they’ve got
It doesn’t
make a difference
If they
make it or not
They’ve got
each other
And that’s
a lot
For love,
we’ll give it a shot
Woooooah! With
Pa and Mary
Wooooah!
Livin on a Prairie!
Take my
hand, with Laura, Ma and Carrie
Wooooooah! Livin
on a Prairie!
The Power of Dove by Huey Lewis
The Power of Dove by Huey Lewis and me.
♪The power of dove is a curious thing
♪The power of dove is a curious thing
Make a one
man stink, make another man clean
Change a
stench to a little smell of love
More than a
feeling that’s the power of dove
Tougher
than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and
harder than a janitor’s dream
Make a bad
pit good, make a wrong pit right
Power of
dove keeps you clean at night
Don’t need
Old Spice, no Irish Spring
Don’t need
no Ivory to make you clean
It’s strong
and sudden and it’s cruel sometimes
But it
might just save your life
That’s the
power of Dove♪
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