Don't Ask.

The following is an imaginary conversation I have with nonexistent people on a weekly basis. I don't know why. Maybe I'm not the only person who does this. But I probably am.

However

here it is.

Imaginary Person Whom I Have Just Devastatingly Insulted Through My Brilliance: Why are you acting like such a weird-person? Are you on your period?

Me: First of all, No. Second of all, it's not MY period. I didn't ask for it. I didn't invent it. I didn't endorse it. I didn't want it. It comes inconveniently at random intervals to annoy the hell out of me, and I try to ignore it as best as I can until it goes away. But apart from that, I neither have nor want any affiliation with it. It isn't MINE. It's not an entity for which I am responsible, in fact, I take no responsibility--repeat--NO responsibility--for its behavior. I am responsible for my own behavior, but not for anything it does which is beyond my control. It isn't MY period, just like this drought in California isn't OUR drought. Stop calling it MINE. Rant over.

Why, Beth, you say, is it that time of the month?

No, believe me, it's not. I seriously have this conversation with the IPWIHJDITMB (see above) at least once a week. I don't know why. Maybe that's something I should bring up in therapy. But maybe not.

Have a good weekend!