For Rosie and Belladonna

Ok, so in my career as a Middle-Earthling or a Mordork or a Ringer or whatever is the official name for Tolkien's fangirls, I have seen several tributes to the women of Middle-Earth, like this one

and this one 

and this one 

but I have never seen one that includes Rose Cotton and Belladonna Took.

Rose Cotton 

Belladonna Took 

Belladonna Took was the one who gave Bilbo the "Tookishness" to venture outside his hole, and without her the Ring would never be found or, therefore, destroyed. 

Rose Cotton was Sam Gamgee's sweetheart. He thought of her at the Butt-Crack of Doom and she gave him strength. 

Well done, ladies. Have a banana. 

Now I feel better. I can go to sleep now. 

A Catholic's Response to "Take Me To Church"

The song "Take Me to Church" by the artist Hozier (rhyming with nosier) has hitherto been one of my favorite songs by said artist until I recently found out that it was written as a middle-finger at the Catholic Church for teaching that gay unions aren't the same thing as a marriage between a man and a woman. When I heard the song the first few times, I thought that "church" was meant as a metaphor for his lady-friend that he "worships," until I found out that it was not, in fact, meant as a metaphor for his lady-friend that he "worships," but a middle-finger at the Catholic Church for teaching that gay unions aren't the same thing as a marriage between a man and a woman.

My first instinct was to think, "Ok, now as a practicing Catholic, I can't listen to this song with a clear conscience unless I pretend it's still about what I originally thought," so I did that for a while and it was exhausting because I'd be listening to the song thinking, "it's a metaphor it's a metaphor it's a metaphor" and then a part of my brain would say, "no it's not! HAHAHAHAHA!" as anyone's would, which landed me in the soup and made the music very much less enjoyable.

But I have concocted a way to listen to "Take Me to Church" with a clear conscience as a practicing Catholic, which I am very happy about because while I disagree with Hozier's middle-fingeredness at the Church, I do enjoy his voice and the tune and the overall bluesy mood of his music.

Last fall, I listened to the audiobook of C.S. Lewis's The Silver Chair, and have decided that if it's not my favorite Narnia book, then it's definitely in my top three (the other two being The Last Battle and The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe) partly because of the following speech by Puddleglum:

"We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnia as I can even if there isn't any Narnia."

This is what I try to think in response to the line, "Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies." Which is kind of insulting, now that I know what he's talking about. But I don't have to dismiss him and all of his music completely because he's not an evil terrorist who's going to burn in hell because he supports gay unions, he's just Fern from Charlotte's Web getting upset at her parents when she thinks a terrible injustice is being served. And before anyone accuses me of comparing gay people to pigs, let me assure you that I am not trying to compare them to pigs, I'm trying to compare Hozier to Fern.

And just as an interesting note, now when I listen to "Take Me to Church" and think of Puddleglum, I feel more grounded in my faith than ever because sometimes I like the things I love to be attacked so that I can defend them.

Unless you insult Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings, 'cause then I'll just get pissed.

Good night!

Poem # something: For Mary-Mr. Manvers

This is a bit of a ditty written specially for my big sister Mary, based on events in the novel These Old Shades by Georgette Heyer, which you should read if you haven't already, and if you've read it already, you should read it again.

Mr. Manvers lost his horse

now he's very sad, of course

summon Poirot, summon Morse, 

poor Mr. Manvers 

Mr. Manvers lost his roan

now he's very much alone

see him crying, hear him groan,

poor Mr. Manvers

Mr. Manvers lost his mare

to Lord Rupert Alistair 

monstrous world, oh, despair, 

poor Mr. Manvers

Some Friendly Advice On Taking Stupid Advice From Meg Ryan

When I was ten or eleven, my parents showed me this movie

because they're the greatest parents on the planet and that movie was frigging awesome. I was thinking about it today and I remembered this quote 

and I remember, when I first saw this movie and heard that quote, I said to myself, "Self, you should be more like that," so I tried to be more like that. And it was ****** exhausting because every day my ***** brain ****** exploded all over the ******* floor. If I were in the habit of telling people what to do (which it appears I am) I would (and do) say don't try to be a 10, because you'll never actually reach 10 until you get to Heaven and odds are the best you can do is a 5, and you'll stay at a 5 for years until finally you say, "screw this, I'll not try at all and I'll just be a 1," after which you spend the rest of your days feeling like an absolute scumbag. 

Not that I feel like an absolute scumbag. I just spent a lot of money on itunes, so I feel terrific; I'm just saying if you're like me, take a chillaxative and don't let Meg Ryan make you feel like an inadequate human being.

Cryptic Themes in "Octopus's Garden"

When I picked up my brothers from cross-country practice today, we had the following discussion in the car: 

Me: [singing] "I'd like to be....under the sea....in an octopus's garden in the shade..."

Thomas; That song makes no sense. 

Isaac: Does it have to make sense?

Thomas: I'm just saying-I mean, the first two lines make sense..."I'd like to be...under the sea," but the third part-

Me: It's a simile. 

Isaac: It's not a simile; he didn't say "like" or "as."

Me: I mean a metaphor. It's a metaphor. 

Thomas: Wait-we got to analyze this. "I'd like to be...under the sea-"

Me: Why is it "under the sea?" Why not just "in the sea?" 'cause if it's under the sea, you're like, in the ground. 

Isaac: It's like saying "under a tree," like you're under the leaves in the shade, not literally underneath all the roots and stuff. 

Thomas: That's not the metaphor though. 

Isaac: No, it's not a metaphor, it's just bad grammar. 

Me: No, the metaphor is the garden. They're just saying 'garden' instead of....'yard' or whatever it is octopus's have. 

Thomas: Yeah, the garden is a metaphor for-

Me: It's his food-source. 

Thomas: Yeah, so he wants to be in the octopus's food source, so he wants to be eaten by the octopus. 

Me: It's about suicide! 

Isaac: Wha-no it's not! 

Thomas: Yeah! Isaac, look, it's a guy and he's being bullied, so he wants to commit suicide and feed himself to the octopus.

Me: Oh-wait, no! It's "in the shade," so it's like humans are like drugs to octopuses and the octopuses do human deals like drug deals, cause it's "shady business" and the octopus does it "in the shade."

Thomas: Yeah, and he wants to be an octopus drug, 'cause it'll make him important-

Me: Like in Shawshank Redemption! Like when they were saying Brooks was an important man in prison and nobody outisde prison. 

Isaac: What? 

Thomas: Isaac, it's like there's a guy who's a nobody, and he wants to go in the ocean 'cause he'll be valuable to the octopuses. 

Georgette Heyer Wishful Thinking Cast Part 2-3

The Reluctant Widow


Elinor Rochdale Cheviot-Emily Blunt

"ODIOUS!"

Nicky Carlyon - John Bell

"I've been rusticated!"

Ned Carlyon-Richard Armitage

"Do you know, it has of late become an ambition of mine to hear my name on your lips instead of my title."

.


The Talisman Ring


Sir Tristram Shield-Ben Barnes

"I think we should pour water on her. Cold water."

Eustacie de Vauban -Georgie Henley

"Did you kill that man whose name I cannot remember?"

Ludovic Lavenham-Tom Felton

"I'm your romantic cousin Ludovic!" 

Sarah Thane-Louise Brealey

"I see I have thrust myself into an adventure." 

Songwriting Final

Draft of my Songwriting final project 

Verse 1

You climbed from anguish like a body from the bog

To your city of mountains in a lake of fog

You cried for beauty and your echoes rent the air

I followed your voice and I found you there

Verse 2

We touched the shadows and gave them each a soul

We saw the diamonds in the blackest coal

Marked every doorpost with the bloodiest of wine

Said to the demons “this place is mine”

Chorus

We sing of starlight,

We paint the rain,

We weep for pleasure

And we laugh in pain (x2)

Verse 3

We happy bigots in our arrogance and pride

Leaped on our high horse and went for a ride

The earthly saints said we would spend a life in hell

For we can’t open hearts and minds so well

Verse 4

They stoned our Stephens and beheaded our Johns

Because we said to them “This might be wrong.”

Our souls are narrow-minded, childish and dry

We can’t please everyone although we try

Chorus

We sing of starlight,

We paint the rain,

We weep for pleasure

And we laugh in pain (x2)