A Complaint

As long as I'm in a bad mood, I'd like to take this opportunity to complain about something which has been bothering me for a good while. This is going to be fun.

I don't like it when people use the word "obsessed" to talk about something they love. And no, this doesn't bother me because I actually have OCD, it bothered me long before I knew I had OCD. Because: I've always thought an obsession didn't mean something you love, but something that loves you, and clings and gnaws at your brain like a parasite and nags at you till you feel like, as someone whose name I never learned said, "stabbing yourself in the forehead with a fork." I've always thought of an obsession as something you can't control, with a sort of crazed-and-unhappy connotation to it.

Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I've always thought of it. Which doesn't make it right, it just gives me an excuse for thinking that way right now. Which is sort of obvious, so that's a waste of three sentences I could have used for something else.

Anyways

If you want to know what I think of obsession vs. non-obsession, watch Season 3 of Sherlock. Here's Anderson. He's thinking about Sherlock and how Sherlock could've faked his death. He can't stop thinking about Sherlock. Maybe he wants to stop thinking about Sherlock. But Sherlock's on his mind and won't get off and he has to keep thinking about Sherlock, and he can't help it and his whole brain is like Sherlock Sherlock Sherlock Sherlock Sherlock Sherlock Sherlock Sherlock. Then there's John: John enjoys hanging out with Sherlock. He enjoys solving crimes with Sherlock. He enjoys watching Sherlock be rude to people and then correcting Sherlock and apologizing to said people. He is very sad when he thinks Sherlock is dead and grows a horrible mustache. But he isn't 'obsessed' with Sherlock.

Nother example is, I do not have an obsession with Middle Earth. I go to Middle Earth when I'm unhappy and it makes me happy, and then I go to Middle Earth when I'm happy and it makes me happier, but I don't have an obsession with it. So please don't tell me I'm obsessed with Middle Earth. If you have done this in the past then that's fine and I don't care, and if you do it in the future just to annoy me then that's fine too, I'm just in a bad mood right now because this planet is populated largely with idiots and people who refuse to make eye-contact with me even though I'm trying to be nice and polite which makes me grouchy and irritable.

Poem #51: The Divine Storyteller

Grahame wrote my love and he made it a River,

Barrie wrote my youth and it lasted forever

Milne wrote my friends and each one was a blessing,

Heyer wrote my sweethearts in finery dressing

Wodehouse wrote my troubles and each one amused me,

Lewis wrote my faith and it did not confuse me

Tolkien wrote my death and it did not affright me,

Christ wrote my life in a song to delight me.

Anxiety Bilbo Episode 2: How To Accept a Friend Request

Last episode, Bilbo showed us how to avoid uncomfortable relatives on facebook. But what about making new friends on facebook?

Friend Request from Gandalf the Grey

Bilbo: Hey, look it's Gandalf! *click* 

You are now friends with Gandalf the Grey.

Write on Gandalf's wall?

Bilbo: Hrm, yes I probably should say something to Gandalf. Ok, "Hi, Gandalf." No, that needs an exclamation mark. "Hi Gandalf!" No, one exclamation mark means "I'm pretending to be excited to talk to you," this needs two exclamation marks. "Hi Gandalf!!" no that's a little on the creepy-stalker side of 'excited to talk to you.' Maybe I'll say something very friendly but with just one exclamation mark. Ok. 

Bilbo >> Gandalf "Good morning!" 

Gandalf the Grey commented on your post. 

"What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or, perhaps are you saying that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?

Bilbo: Oh, crap. What does that mean? Is he annoyed? He didn't put any smiley winky faces. I think he's annoyed. But then Gandalf never puts smiley winky faces on anything. I think he's joking. Is he joking? I'm not sure. Should I apologize for whatever I might've done, or should I pretend I think he's joking and go along with it? Or I could just say LOL. Or I could post a GIF of Mr. Bennett saying "I have not the pleasure of understanding you." Yeah, I'll find one of those. 

...

Bilbo: All right, so apparently Google doesn't have any GIF's for not knowing what Gandalf is talking about. GAH and he know's I'm on facebook because I just accepted his friend request, so he'll be waiting for me to respond. AAAAAUGH I'll just say "All of them at once." No, now it looks like I'm annoyed. I'll say "All of them at once!" With a smiley face? No, I've got an exclamation mark, I don't need a smiley face. I don't want him to think I'm a sentimental mush princess. And I'd better like his comment too. Actually, no, I don't need to do that. Ok, here goes: 

"All of them at once!" 

Gandalf the Grey likes your comment "All of them at once!" 

 Bilbo: Oh, drat, now I have to like his comment. But I didn't like it before I commented, so he'll know that I'm just liking his comment because he liked my comment. But that's ok. I think. I think it's ok. Is that ok? If he just liked my comment and didn't comment back, that probably means we don't have to continue the discussion, which probably means I don't have to do anything about it. Ok, I'll do nothing about it. I wish this "like comment" button never got added to facebook. What facebook really needs to do is take off when everything was posted so nobody can tell whether I'm actually on or not. I think I'll write Gandalf a letter. We should get a couple of carrier pigeons and just send each other notes, or we could get owls like they've got in Harry Potter. Or I could just go live with Gollum in his cave and never try to be social again. 

Beren and Luthien

Before I present my arguments re why I think Kili and Tauriel are based on Beren and Luthien, I would like first to make a request.

When God made me He, for reasons of His own, decided that I should be very squeamish about presenting my opinion on anything and that I should feel very uncomfortable doing so. Therefore I'm going to ask please that nobody hate me for my opinion and please remember that presenting my opinion feels to me like facing down a large angry Jabberwocky armed with only a toothpick. That's me armed with the toothpick, not the Jabberwocky.

If you feel that my opinion is stupid and/or irreverent, please just allow me to be happy in my stupidity and irreverence and instead of hating me and sending me out to be tarred and feathered, just pity me for my stupidity. That's all I'm going to say about that.

As I see it, the story of Kili and Tauriel in the Hobbit movies has two prevailing motifs. They are
1. An appreciation for "light and high beauty."
2. The realization/acceptance of death and mortality.

I would like to argue that motifs are also prevalent in the story of Beren and Luthien.

"In that hour, Luthien came, and standing upon the bridge that led to Sauron's isle she sang a song that no walls of stone could hinder. Beren heard, and he thought that he dreamed; for the stars shone above him, and in the trees nightingales were singing. And in answer he sang a song of challenge that he had made in praise of the Seven Stars, the Sickle of the Valar that Varda hung above the North as a sign for the fall of Morgoth." (p. 174).

"But Beren coming back to the light out of the pits of despair lifted her up, and they looked again upon one another; and the day rising over the dark hills shone upon them." (p. 175)

"There she set her arms about Beren, and kissed him, bidding him await her beyond the Western Sea; and he looked upon her eyes ere the spirit left him. But the starlight was quenched and darkness had fallen even upon Luthien Tinuviel." (p. 186)

"For Luthien wove two themes of words, of the sorrow of the Eldar and the grief of Men, of the Two Kindreds that were made by Iluvatar to dwell in Arda, the Kingdom of Earth amid the innumerable stars." (p. 187)


Also very important I think is:

"It is told that Huan pursued the sons of Feanor, and they fled in fear; and returning he brought to Luthien a herb out of the forest, With that leaf she staunched Beren's wound, and by her arts and by her love she healed him; and thus at last they returned to Doriath." (p. 178)

and

"Now Beren lay in a swoon within the perilous Gate, and death drew nigh him, for there was venom on the fangs of the wolf. Luthien with her lips drew out the venom, and she put forth her failing power to staunch the hideous wound...long Beren lay, and his spirit wandered upon the dark borders of death, knowing ever an anguish that pursued him from dream to dream. Then suddenly, when her hope was almost spent, he woke again, and looked up, seeing leaves against the sky; and he heard beneath the leaves singing soft and slow beside him Luthien Tinuviel. And it was spring again." (p. 183)

As Peter Kreeft said, "does that plot sound familiar?"

I'm not going to explain further, because I don't have time and I don't want to. But this is what I thought, and I might be wrong but then I might be right, and I like to think I'm right, so I'm going to pretend I am.

I'd also like to say that I didn't mind Kili and Tauriel because
1. They remind me of my favorite PG Wodehouse couple.
2. They remind me of my favorite Hozier song.
3. They remind me of two of my favorite Florence + The Machine songs.
4. I enjoyed both of their characters both separate and together.
5. They were Tolkien-esque enough for me.
6. They were kind of adorable.
7. That is all. [:

Defining "Love Triangle"

I need to get to sleep, but first I'd like to clear something up.

LOVE TRIANGLE 

A "love triangle," as I understand it, is a situation in which two men/women are both in love with one woman/man and that one woman/man can't make up her mind which one she loves. If she/he definitely loves one or the other, it's not a triangle. It's a line and a dot.

THIS IS A LOVE TRIANGLE 

THIS IS NOT A LOVE TRIANGLE 

These following trios are love triangles: 

1. Bella/Edward/Jacob

2.Katniss/Peeta/Gale 

These following trios are not love triangles:

1. Ron/Hermione/Harry

2. Aragorn/Arwen/Eowyn

3. Kili/Tauriel/Legolas 

4. Ned/Chuck/Olive 

5. Jack/Will/Elizabeth

6. Tristram/Eustacie/Ludovic 

7. Bertie/Madeline/Gussie 

8. Bertie/Florence/Stilton 

9. Bertie/Angela/Tuppy 

10. Sally/Ginger/Bruce

Also, and I can't believe that it's necessary to say this, but Gandalf and Galadriel are NOT IN LOVE. There is, believe it or not, a such thing as affection not pertaining to in-lovedness. I love my brothers, and my dad, and my guy friends, but I am not in love with them. Galadriel is not in love with Gandalf, and Gandalf is not in love with Galadriel, that's all I have to say about that, end of rant. 

Also I still think Kili and Tauriel are based off of Beren and Luthien. I'm waiting for somebody to contradict me so I can unleash my knowledge of The Silmarillion. 

Poem #50: Fur

My lady has a bonny face

eyes and nose all in their place

cap of fur on regal head

but it's not until we wed

I shall ask her "Friend or faux?"

Secret only she can know

Teasing lashes, dimpled cheek

she will tell me in a week

all her secrets, one by one,

under moonlight, under sun.