The Properties of Plastics

The following post is my way of memorizing the properties of different types of plastics I'm supposed to have memorized by Thursday. This post was made for the sole benefit of me, and was not meant to amuse or instruct anyone else, unless you're in FST 319 with me and need a way to memorize said plastics as well. The bolded words are the properties of the corresponding plastics in the above heading.



I. Polyethylene.

Once upon a time, there was a princess called Polyethylene who lived in a magical kingdom. She was sad because her mother was dead and stiff. But luckily, Polyethylene was strong and tough, so she was able to make her mother a coffin, and the coffin was easy to make and to process, besides which it cost less than the average coffin (used or new). It was also resistant to chemicals and gas permeable. 

The End.

II. Polypropylene.

Now, Polyethylene had a sister named Polypropylene, who was very much like Polyethylene's daughter, High-Density Polyethylene, in many respects. However, High-Density Polyethylene was not very good at using the castle's injection mold to make plastic containers, so she asked Polypropylene for help and Polypropylene was better at it because she, like Polyethylene, was strong and tough. However, High-Density Polyethylene soon became jealous of her aunt's skill at injection molding, so she threw her chemistry set at Polypropylene. Fortunately, however, Polypropylene was chemical resistant. For revenge, High-Density Polyethylene accused Polypropylene of being a witch and had her burned at the stake, but unbeknownst to her, Polypropylene was also heat resistant and would not burn. Then High-Density Polyethylene tried to drown Polypropylene, but Polypropylene was not only heat resistant, but moisture resistant as well, a feature she had purchased for a very low price. Then High-Density Polyethylene thought that she could kiss-ass her way into learning how to be good at the injection mold as well, so she went back to Polypropylene and tried to butter her up, but Polypropylene, as it happens, was also grease-resistant. In the end, High-Density Polyethylene managed to cultivate a great respect for her aunt because of how versatile she was, and they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

III. Polystyrene

Now, Polyethylene and Polypropylene belonged to the family of the Polyolefins, but there was another family called the Substituted Olefins who ruled another province of the land, and in this family, as in the Polyolefin family, there were two daughters. The eldest of these was Polystyrene, who was something of a pain in everyone's bum unless she had her doll whose name was Polybutadiene with her. She was also fond of peanut brittle, which was easy to process, and she always made it clear when she wanted some by insulating the walls of the freezer so that everyone's ice cream melted ahead of schedule. She was also versatile. That's all I got to say about that.

The End

IV. Poly Vinylchloride

Polystyrene, as you know, had a younger sister, and her name was Poly Vinylchloride, but everyone called her PVC. PVC was something of a liar, but fortunately her lies were transparent and everyone could see right through her. When she made off one day with the peanut brittle, her family punished her by pouring chemicals onto her, but she was resistant to chemicals and developed a long-term stability, which made punishment very difficult. They tried burning her at the stake like Polypropylene, but she, too, was flame-resistant and would not burn, and they tried leaving her out in a storm, but she had great weatherability and refused to die from exposure. Finally, however, they put PVC in a blender and found that she was easy to blend, and after she was blended completely, they thought what wonderful potato-pancakes she would make and they shaped her into patties and tried to fry her in butter, but unfortunately, she was also grease resistant. So instead, they sold her remains at a low price and lived happily ever after.

The End

V. Poly Ethylene Terephthalate

Now, there was a third ruling family in this kingdom, and they lived under the name Polyesters. In this family were two brothers, the eldest of whom was called PET. His proper name was Poly Ethylene Terephthalate, but few remembered it, even though he pronounced it for them clearly. It hurt his feelings a little when his subjects could not remember his full name, but he was a tough prince and minded it as little as he could. Once he wasn't feeling well, and his mother tried to give him some gas-X with a glass of water, but PET turned both away, for he had an effective moisture barrier as well as a gas barrier, and could not be troubled by gas, nor could he combat his stomach ache with a glass of water. Everyone else lived happily ever after.

The End

VI. Polycarbonate

Now, PET had a younger brother named Polycarbonate whom everyone called PC, because he was always on his Personal Computer. PET once grew tired of his inattentiveness to Real Life and tried to break PC's PC, but the PC was very durable and would not break. He tried to burn it and scratch it, but the PC was heat and scratch resistant, and soon PET found himself aimlessly throwing sparks and bricks at it like the dad with the killer doll in The Twilight Zone. He then discovered that the PC was covered in a transparent force field which made it resistant to chemicals as well as virtually indestructible.

The End

A Thought On Attempting To Shock People

Because I'm very bad at talking about my writing, and because one must do that at which one is bad, this will be another post about the unfortunate document on my computer that I call 'my book.' 

As of now, I'm only halfway done with Draft 3 of Book 1, I've barely started Draft 1 of Book 2, and I've got just an outline in my head of Book 3, but I know what I want the overall effect of the ending of each one to be. In a word (or four), I want to shock people. 

Maybe 'shock' is a strong word. I don't know if I actually want to shock said people per se, but I have an idea of what I want Reader X to say when he's done reading said unfortunate documents: 

Book 1: "Gadzooks and goody gumdrops, but that actually makes sense!" 

Book 2: "Hellfire and damnation, where the $@*& did that come from?!" 

Book 3: "No, dammit, I told Character X not to do that and by George he did it!" 

Plotting-wise, I think I've done all right with each one. Execution-wise, I'm not sure. I'm attempting to get the above reactions by 

Book 1: Hinting at the conventional romantic-comedy "twist" and then swerving at the end to my own "twist," while keeping the philosophy behind the romantic-comedy "twist" hints intact. 

Book 2: Focusing on the external conflict of Character A and then jumping in at the climax with the internal conflict of Character B which explains the reason why Character B caused said external conflict with Character A. Also by complicating the mess with melodramatic guns and tomatoes. 

Book 3: Continuously enforcing how hunky-dory everything is throughout the narrative so that Reader X will try to make himself believe that it couldn't possibly be all ruined at the end, and especially not by Character C. 

These are the methods behind my attempts to twist my endings. If any of them conflict with the usual (or unusual) methods of Good Writing, please let me know so I can punch a wall and throw away my laptop before I fix whatever-it-is that would cause a reader unnecessary grief.

Thank you!

Beth out. 

Don't Ask.

The following is an imaginary conversation I have with nonexistent people on a weekly basis. I don't know why. Maybe I'm not the only person who does this. But I probably am.

However

here it is.

Imaginary Person Whom I Have Just Devastatingly Insulted Through My Brilliance: Why are you acting like such a weird-person? Are you on your period?

Me: First of all, No. Second of all, it's not MY period. I didn't ask for it. I didn't invent it. I didn't endorse it. I didn't want it. It comes inconveniently at random intervals to annoy the hell out of me, and I try to ignore it as best as I can until it goes away. But apart from that, I neither have nor want any affiliation with it. It isn't MINE. It's not an entity for which I am responsible, in fact, I take no responsibility--repeat--NO responsibility--for its behavior. I am responsible for my own behavior, but not for anything it does which is beyond my control. It isn't MY period, just like this drought in California isn't OUR drought. Stop calling it MINE. Rant over.

Why, Beth, you say, is it that time of the month?

No, believe me, it's not. I seriously have this conversation with the IPWIHJDITMB (see above) at least once a week. I don't know why. Maybe that's something I should bring up in therapy. But maybe not.

Have a good weekend!