A Bit of Writing Part 5

This is only one sentence, but I'm a little proud of it:

He had never considered himself an affable person, and was therefore often bewildered to find that other human beings wanted to aff him.

A Bit of Writing I've Been Working On Part 4

I've written about five or six hundred Beginnings, but I think I'll settle with this one.

Shakespeare, we understand, was only human. He may have been the greatest playwright to walk the Earth’s crust, he may have made his grandmother proud, and he may have been capable of tying a cherry stem into a knot with his tongue, but he was, in fact, human. Unlike God, when Shakespeare began a story, he was often forced to do so in medias res, that is, “in the middle of things,” when the beginning is not so much a beginning as a continuation of happenings that sprung from some other beginning, just as an omelet is made from an egg which came from a chicken, which came from an egg, and so on, until we have reached back in time to the First Chicken, who, we are told, was actually a Tyrannosaurus Rex. But life went on for the chicken, as it did for man, and thus, Shakespeare wrote his plays in medias res. It was for this reason that as his audiences seated themselves before his stages with their sixteenth-century popcorn and rotten fruit, they asked one another, “Which of the T-Rex’s descendants is this particular egg, and who, do you suppose, were its parents?” Eventually, Shakespeare grew tired of audience members muttering that they were not provided with enough backstory, and so he began the practice of writing what is called a Prologue, so that his congregation would understand why Romeo and Juliet's enhitchment would be a scandal before the killings began.  

The following narrative is a story which takes place about twenty-two years after The Beginning, which is why the author has deemed it prudent to report a short history of happenings that have happened hitherto. In the beginning, etc, etc.