Hello!
As of now, it has been thirteen (13) days since I last wrote something and posted it for people to observe critically, like a critic observing a piece of writing. This, as you know, is against the Post One Thing Every Week Rule and as such is to be frowned upon.
One reason why I haven't posted anything since August 16, 2016 in the year of Our Lord is because I cannot think of anything to post in re my book-thing. Those things which I have thought to post in re my book-thing I have not posted for the simple reason that I feel like a Poop and a Ham whenever I talk about this bit of bad literature I'm trying to write which, as one may infer from my sub-par metaphor found in the above paragraph, is rubbish.
But this is all immaterial. I began this post with the intent of telling you (whoever you are) about my thoughts on genre apportionment.
My thoughts on genre apportionment are as follows:
There are three genres of popular fiction which I can think of at the moment. These three may overlap over one another or they may stand alone, but regardless of what they do to each other they remain Mystery, Comedy and Romance. I was going to say that there are four and include Sci-Fi/Fantasy, but then I thought that Sci-Fi/Fantasy is more of a setting than a genre. Then I was going to say that there are four again and include Drama, but if one is honest with oneself, one will realize that nobody actually knows what the hell Drama is. It's what people call a book or movie when there isn't a large enough fraction of Mystery, Comedy, or Romance to make it a Mystery, Comedy, or Romance. I believe Forrest Gump is a drama. So is To Kill a Mockingbird. Also The Border Trilogy. One might argue that The Border Trilogy is a Western, but like Sci-Fi/Fantasy, I would classify "Western" as a setting rather than a genre.
I've been having some thought on what [if any] genre my book-thing will be if it ever emerges out of the primordial slime from whence it came, and I think I've largely settled on Comedy. Of course, this implies that it's funny, which it may or may not be depending on how stupid it turns out I am. But all-in-all, I think I've settled on Comedy. Some of my close compatriots have suggested that it's a Romantic Comedy, but I would like to argue in the paragraph below that it's not [and not just because I'm unreasonably prejudiced].
My book-thing, which I'm going to call Title X because I'm tired of calling it "my book-thing," is not a Romantic Comedy for the following reasons:
1. At the beginning, Girl A and Boy A have already fallen in love, so the falling-in-love process is not anywhere to be found in the least.
2. Girl A and Boy A [supposedly] do not interact at all until Chapter 29. Or 30, depending on whether or not I decide to leave in Scene XVICLJ.
3. Boy B is neither Girl A's Gay Best Friend, nor is he Girl A's Dark Person For Whom She Ditches Boy A.
I thought Title X might turn out to be a Mystery, but it likewise didn't. Title X, I think, is not a mystery because
1. There are no detectives, except for one or two scenes in which Girl A and Boy B try unsuccessfully to determine what the hell is going on
and
2. There are [supposedly] no dead bodies
However, it still might be a mystery because
1. Neither Girl A, nor Boy A, nor Boy B have any idea what's actually going on (and neither will Reader A, if I'm successful).
and
2. Old Woman A [supposedly] carries a weapon
and
3. Reader A (if I'm successful) will be unable to determine who exactly Man A is, what is his relationship to Old Woman A, and why Old Woman A is not happy to see him in Scene XIYTSF.
So maybe it is a mystery. But it's meant to be predominately a comedy. I could go further and say it's a dark comedy, but that's getting into sub-genres, about which I am not in the mood to chat because I don't have time.
So, for now I'm going to call Title X a Comedy- Mystery. Title X 2: The Sequel I think will be more of a Comedy-Drama, and Title X 3: The Threequel I think will revert back to Comedy-Mystery. With some Drama. I said before that nobody knows what the word "Drama" means, but now that I think about it, I think it just means "Misc." With at least a little Tragedy. I forgot the word "Tragedy" existed, so now I have to re-write the whole thing, dammit. But I don't have time.
Beth out.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Character Goals Update
Hello!
This week's Mandatory Blog Post For Practicing Writing/Publishing is actually a post that I wrote some centuries ago, but which I am now updating for posterity and because I want to.
In the aforementioned post of some centuries ago, I believe I outlined my goals for What Kind Of A Person I Want Each Of My Major Characters To Be. Because I'm new at novel-writing and because it worked out that way, the above Major Characters total just four, which makes it easier for everybody concerned, except perhaps the actual characters who I think probably want more guidance through life than they're currently getting. But, as I explained to them last night, wringing intellectuals and street-smart personages out of my brain is not my forte, so I'm afraid they will have to make do with what they have.
As I also mentioned in the post from some centuries ago, I don't want to disclose my little people's names just yet. I don't know why. But I have a feeling that if I talk as if they're real live characters before my book is even rejected by a publisher, it'll spoil it for when they do come to life [if ever]. So, for the purpose of this post, I'm calling them G, M, C, and F.
Last time around, I said that G was my Piglet. I'm happy to inform you that, after several months of writing and revising, she's still my Piglet, and my overall goal is to gradually give her a touch of Pooh as a means of lessening her anxiety.
I thought that M was going to turn out to be a similar version of Piglet, but after struggling with him somewhat and hitting him on the face with a large stick several times, I've discovered that he's more Rabbit than Piglet, which suits me fine. Later in the story he's going to try to act as Christopher Robin which is going to go very badly for him, whereupon he will return to his previous station as Rabbit. Note: as much as I love Disney's interpretation of Winnie the Pooh, I have to clarify that I'm siphoning off of A.A. Milne's Rabbit, not Disney's. A.A.M.'s Rabbit is helpful and kind, but in a pompous sort of way, and he has far less of the Crochety Old Man than W.D.'s Rabbit.
C is a little puzzling. I said last time that he would tell you he's more Eeyore than Tigger, while in reality he behaves more like Tigger than Eeyore. But after some coffee and contemplation, I've discovered that C will tell you nothing about himself because talking about himself makes him uncomfortable, and that he perhaps is mostly Tigger after all with just a little Small [if you're familiar with A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, you know about whom I'm talking]. Like M, C at a later point in the story is going to try to become Christopher Robin which likewise is going to go very badly for him, whereupon he will resume his place as Tigger [with even more Small than before].
I said before that F was my Owl, my Kanga, and my Rabbit, but after some extensive probing, I discovered that she's almost entirely Eeyore. I'm a little bit pleased about that.
If I'm still working on this thing by next year, I'll post another Update to see if they've changed more [or less]. But I think I'm happy with them at the moment.
Yours Truly
Beth
This week's Mandatory Blog Post For Practicing Writing/Publishing is actually a post that I wrote some centuries ago, but which I am now updating for posterity and because I want to.
In the aforementioned post of some centuries ago, I believe I outlined my goals for What Kind Of A Person I Want Each Of My Major Characters To Be. Because I'm new at novel-writing and because it worked out that way, the above Major Characters total just four, which makes it easier for everybody concerned, except perhaps the actual characters who I think probably want more guidance through life than they're currently getting. But, as I explained to them last night, wringing intellectuals and street-smart personages out of my brain is not my forte, so I'm afraid they will have to make do with what they have.
As I also mentioned in the post from some centuries ago, I don't want to disclose my little people's names just yet. I don't know why. But I have a feeling that if I talk as if they're real live characters before my book is even rejected by a publisher, it'll spoil it for when they do come to life [if ever]. So, for the purpose of this post, I'm calling them G, M, C, and F.
Last time around, I said that G was my Piglet. I'm happy to inform you that, after several months of writing and revising, she's still my Piglet, and my overall goal is to gradually give her a touch of Pooh as a means of lessening her anxiety.
I thought that M was going to turn out to be a similar version of Piglet, but after struggling with him somewhat and hitting him on the face with a large stick several times, I've discovered that he's more Rabbit than Piglet, which suits me fine. Later in the story he's going to try to act as Christopher Robin which is going to go very badly for him, whereupon he will return to his previous station as Rabbit. Note: as much as I love Disney's interpretation of Winnie the Pooh, I have to clarify that I'm siphoning off of A.A. Milne's Rabbit, not Disney's. A.A.M.'s Rabbit is helpful and kind, but in a pompous sort of way, and he has far less of the Crochety Old Man than W.D.'s Rabbit.
C is a little puzzling. I said last time that he would tell you he's more Eeyore than Tigger, while in reality he behaves more like Tigger than Eeyore. But after some coffee and contemplation, I've discovered that C will tell you nothing about himself because talking about himself makes him uncomfortable, and that he perhaps is mostly Tigger after all with just a little Small [if you're familiar with A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, you know about whom I'm talking]. Like M, C at a later point in the story is going to try to become Christopher Robin which likewise is going to go very badly for him, whereupon he will resume his place as Tigger [with even more Small than before].
I said before that F was my Owl, my Kanga, and my Rabbit, but after some extensive probing, I discovered that she's almost entirely Eeyore. I'm a little bit pleased about that.
If I'm still working on this thing by next year, I'll post another Update to see if they've changed more [or less]. But I think I'm happy with them at the moment.
Yours Truly
Beth
Monday, August 8, 2016
Is My Climax Cornball?
Hello!
I think I've already said in a previous post that the reason I don't blog much anymore [thank God] is because I'm trying to write a book [oh, no]. I've got about thirty chapters so far, most of them written and re-written and edited and tweaked and applied with botox or lethal injection, and I think the best thing I can say about it at this point is that it isn't all bad. My primary concern is that I'm not very good at writing. So, I've decided to write more.
My new goal which I made about thirty seconds ago is to write one blog post every week and to share it so that anyone who feels so inclined may tell me what I'm doing wrong and why my writing is only palatable for the uncultured neanderthals of this world who only recently emerged from the primordial slime from whence they came. I said just now that my primary concern is that I'm not a good writer, but in truth I have also been fretting like an epileptic chicken over whether or not my story and characters are, as PG Wodehouse would say, fit for human consumption.
So, without giving away any details or major spoilers, I'd like to run by you [whoever you are] the climax of the sequel that's been bouncing around in my head for about nine months and that I've just recently put down on paper.
The story [hopefully a dark comedy] I'm currently working on consists of characters Girl A, Boy A, Boy B, and Old Woman B. The first book, if I'm successful, will deal primarily between the relationship between Girl A and Boy A. The second book, if I'm equally successful, will orbit around the relationship between Girl A and Boy B. In this sequel [an even darker comedy] I'm hoping, Boy B is going to pull a nasty prank on Girl A, but with the best intentions, resulting in Girl A changing her outlook on life and on herself all for the better. Just before the climax, however, Girl A is going to discover that this change she has recently underwent is the result of the aforementioned nasty prank pulled on her by Boy B, and will thereby become very angry with Boy B and storm off leaving Boy B to fester in self-pity.
Now, at the climax, enter Villain A, who was instrumental in the execution of the nasty prank, and who, for his own reasons, has no cause to love Boy B. Villain A then does something terrible to Boy B, and it's hilarious. Re-enter Girl A to discover Boy B in a state of minor decomposition.
We now come to the Important Part of the climax which consists of a flashback to when Boy B was a child, and we witness him doing Something Secret which
1. Explains one of the more prominent aspects of his character
2. Shows his relationship with Girl A in an entirely new light
3. Raises the stakes in the first part of the climax
and
4. Makes us feel very sorry for him.
In addition, the transition between the Catastrophe and the Flashback will [hopefully] be such that the reader, not knowing we are now in Flashbackville, will believe for a sentence or two that Boy B has completely expired and will gasp and say either, "Hooray, he's dead," or "Oh, no, not Boy B," depending on their liking for the character.
What I'm worried about is,
1. Are flashbacks considered cornball by the literary community?
2. Does any of it sound cornball?
3. Am I cornball for writing it?
4. If I am cornball, does that mean I'm a terrible person?
5. If it does make me a terrible person, can I do it anyway because I want to?
6. Does that mean I'm going to hell?
That's all I wanted to know. If you [whoever you are] have any strong opinions for or against it, I would be happy to hear them. Don't be nice to me, because I'm trying to develop a thick skin.
Thank you very much and have a fantastic day!
Yours Truly,
Beth
I think I've already said in a previous post that the reason I don't blog much anymore [thank God] is because I'm trying to write a book [oh, no]. I've got about thirty chapters so far, most of them written and re-written and edited and tweaked and applied with botox or lethal injection, and I think the best thing I can say about it at this point is that it isn't all bad. My primary concern is that I'm not very good at writing. So, I've decided to write more.
My new goal which I made about thirty seconds ago is to write one blog post every week and to share it so that anyone who feels so inclined may tell me what I'm doing wrong and why my writing is only palatable for the uncultured neanderthals of this world who only recently emerged from the primordial slime from whence they came. I said just now that my primary concern is that I'm not a good writer, but in truth I have also been fretting like an epileptic chicken over whether or not my story and characters are, as PG Wodehouse would say, fit for human consumption.
So, without giving away any details or major spoilers, I'd like to run by you [whoever you are] the climax of the sequel that's been bouncing around in my head for about nine months and that I've just recently put down on paper.
The story [hopefully a dark comedy] I'm currently working on consists of characters Girl A, Boy A, Boy B, and Old Woman B. The first book, if I'm successful, will deal primarily between the relationship between Girl A and Boy A. The second book, if I'm equally successful, will orbit around the relationship between Girl A and Boy B. In this sequel [an even darker comedy] I'm hoping, Boy B is going to pull a nasty prank on Girl A, but with the best intentions, resulting in Girl A changing her outlook on life and on herself all for the better. Just before the climax, however, Girl A is going to discover that this change she has recently underwent is the result of the aforementioned nasty prank pulled on her by Boy B, and will thereby become very angry with Boy B and storm off leaving Boy B to fester in self-pity.
Now, at the climax, enter Villain A, who was instrumental in the execution of the nasty prank, and who, for his own reasons, has no cause to love Boy B. Villain A then does something terrible to Boy B, and it's hilarious. Re-enter Girl A to discover Boy B in a state of minor decomposition.
We now come to the Important Part of the climax which consists of a flashback to when Boy B was a child, and we witness him doing Something Secret which
1. Explains one of the more prominent aspects of his character
2. Shows his relationship with Girl A in an entirely new light
3. Raises the stakes in the first part of the climax
and
4. Makes us feel very sorry for him.
In addition, the transition between the Catastrophe and the Flashback will [hopefully] be such that the reader, not knowing we are now in Flashbackville, will believe for a sentence or two that Boy B has completely expired and will gasp and say either, "Hooray, he's dead," or "Oh, no, not Boy B," depending on their liking for the character.
What I'm worried about is,
1. Are flashbacks considered cornball by the literary community?
2. Does any of it sound cornball?
3. Am I cornball for writing it?
4. If I am cornball, does that mean I'm a terrible person?
5. If it does make me a terrible person, can I do it anyway because I want to?
6. Does that mean I'm going to hell?
That's all I wanted to know. If you [whoever you are] have any strong opinions for or against it, I would be happy to hear them. Don't be nice to me, because I'm trying to develop a thick skin.
Thank you very much and have a fantastic day!
Yours Truly,
Beth
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