Supernatural Brohemian Rhapsody [Reissued 20th Century Platinum Edition HD]

Supernatural Lyrics

Actual Lyrics

You’re bossy, and short Dad’s on a hunting trip What, why the poop face? Idjit. Go save my unicorn. Son of a bitch. I don’t wanna be a clue. Run, it’ll kill you! Sweetheart, I don’t do shorts. Hey, assbutt! Dammit, Cas! I NEED PIE. Hello, boys. That’s my line. You’ll crap margaritas, Dude, you fugly Vampires peeeeeeee Hello Dean. [piano] Sammy, I dig the hair. Fight the fairies, let it go. What the hell, man? I don’t know. Sammy, I’m adorable. I raised you from perdition. Mom’s a babe. Sammy, ooooh I don't like this universe. It's not food anymore, Dean, it's Darwinism! Wendigo, wendigo. Do I look like Paris Hilton? Tuesday I lost my shoe. The jawlines and the hair. Sam wears women's underwear. Jared Padalecki You're Polish now? I don't understand that reference. Where's your moose? SAMMY OOOOH I don’t wanna die. Dean, we don’t have time for your blah blah blaaaah [epic guitar] [piano] AH! That was scary. I’m an angel of the Lord. U.F.O! U.F.O! You’ll thank me when it’s Wednesday. Yesterday was Tuesday, But today is Tuesday too! I’m amazing! Yeah, you’re Batman. I’m an angel. I’m a demon. I’ll interrogate the cat. PIG ‘N’ A PO-O-O-O-KE Dean, you’re my brother and I still love ya. HEAT OF THE MOMENT WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE IF THERE’S A KEY, THEN THERE MUST BE A LOCK! [piano] Hold me, Sam. That’s fake me. This must be fake mine. I'm not your AUNT! Hey, assbutt! let it go. I'm not your AUNT! Hey assbutt! let it go. I'm not your AUNT! Hey assbutt! let it go. LET IT GO-O-O-O No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Fight the fairies, fight the fairies, fight the fairies, let it go. Knock once for yes, twice for no. Are you alive? Pudding. Pudding! PUDDIIIIIIING [epic guitar] Tree, horse, fiddler crab. Monsters are real. Freakin’ witches! You don’t shoot Bambi, jackass. I think you just pissed Off my sandwich. OOOOH, baby! He don’t understand, baby. I’m proud of us I’m proud of us Did you kiss him? [more epic guitar] OOOOOH JERK BITCH JERK BITCH OOOOOH AAAAAAAAA Driver picks the music Shotgun shuts his hole. Driver picks the music. Shotgun dies and loses His soulllllllll. Baby in a trench coat

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I’m Easy come, Easy go, Little high, Little low, Anyway the wind blows, Doesn’t really Matter to meeeeeee To me. [piano] Mama, Just killed a man. Put a gun up to his head, Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead. Mama, Life has just begun, But now I’ve gone and thrown it All away. Mama, oooooh didn't mean to make you cry, if I'm not back this time again tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters Too late, my time has come sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time Goodbye, everybody I've got to go, gotta leave you all and finally face the truth MAMA OOOOH I don’t wanna die. Sometimes wish I’d never been born at Aaaall [epic guitar] [piano] I see a little Silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, Scaramouch Will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightening! Very, very frightening me! Galileo Galileo Galileo Galileo Galileo, Figaro MAGNIFICO-O-O-O I’m just a poor boy, Nobody loves me HE’S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY! [piano] Easy come, easy go. Will you let me go? Bismillah, NO! We will not let you go. Bismillah, NO! We will not let you go. Bismillah,NO! We will not let you go. LET ME GO-O-O-O No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Mamma mia, mamma mia Mamma mia, let me go. Beelzebub has a devil put aside For meeee. For meeee! FOR MEEEEEEE [epic guitar] So you think you can stone me and spit in my EYEEE? So you think you can love me And leave me To DIEEE? OOOOH, baby! Can’t do this to me, baby! Just gotta get out, Just gotta get right Out of heyaaaah. [more epic guitar] OOOOOH OH YEAH OH YEAH OOOOOOH AAAAAAAA Nothing really matters. Anyone can see. Nothing really matters, Nothing really matters To meeeeeeeee. Anyway the wind blows

Brohemian Rhapsody

In case you wanted to know, here's how to sing Bohemain Rhapsody using entirely "Supernatural" quotes.

Supernatural Lyrics

Actual Lyrics

You’re bossy, and short Dad’s on a hunting trip What, why the poop face? Idjit. Go save my unicorn. I lost my shoe. I don’t wanna be a clue. Run, it’ll kill you! Sweetheart, I don’t do shorts. Hey, assbutt! Dammit, Cas! I NEED PIE. Hello, boys. That’s my line. You’ll crap margaritas, Dude, you fugly Vampires peeeeeeee Hello Dean. [piano] Sammy, I dig the hair. Fight the fairies, let it go. What the hell, man? I don’t know. Sammy, I’m adorable. I raised you from perdition. Mom’s a babe. SAMMY OOOOH I don’t wanna die. Dean, we don’t have time for your blah blah blaaaah [epic guitar] [piano] AH! That was scary. I’m an angel of the Lord. U.F.O! U.F.O! You’ll thank me when it’s Wednesday. Yesterday was Tuesday, But today is Tuesday too! I’m amazing! Yeah, you’re Batman. I’m an angel. I’m a demon. I’ll interrogate the cat. PIG ‘N’ A PO-O-O-O-KE Dean, you’re my brother and I still love ya. HEAT OF THE MOMENT WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE IF THERE’S A KEY, THEN THERE MUST BE A LOCK! [piano] Hold me, Sam. That’s fake me. This must be fake mine. You’ll die, Sam. SO? Hey, brother, let it go. You’ll die, Sam. SO? Hey, brother, let it go. You’ll die, Sam. SO? Hey brother, let it go.   LET IT GO-O-O-O No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Fight the fairies, fight the fairies, Ok, brother, let it go. Knock once for yes, twice for no. Are you alive? Pudding. Pudding! PUDDIIIIIIING [epic guitar] Tree, horse, fiddler crab. Monsters are real. Freakin’ witches! You don’t shoot Bambi, jackass. I think you just pissed Off my sandwich. OOOOH, baby! He don’t understand, baby. I’m proud of us I’m proud of us Did you kiss him? [more epic guitar] OOOOOH JERK BITCH JERK BITCH OOOOOH AAAAAAAAA Driver picks the music Shotgun shuts his hole. Driver picks the music. Shotgun dies and loses His soulllllllll. Baby in a trench coat

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I’m Easy come, Easy go, Little high, Little low, Anyway the wind blows, Doesn’t really Matter to meeeeeee To me. [piano] Mama, Just killed a man. Put a gun up to his head, Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead. Mama, Life has just begun, But now I’ve gone and thrown it All away. MAMA OOOOH I don’t wanna die. Sometimes wish I’d never been born at Aaaall [epic guitar] [piano] I see a little Silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, Scaramouch Will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightening! Very, very frightening me! Galileo Galileo Galileo Galileo Galileo, Figaro MAGNIFICO-O-O-O I’m just a poor boy, Nobody loves me HE’S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY! [piano] Easy come, easy go. Will you let me go? Bismillah, NO! We will not let you go. Bismillah, NO! We will not let you go. Bismillah, NO! We will not let you go. LET ME GO-O-O-O No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Mamma mia, mamma mia Mamma mia, let me go. Beelzebub has a devil put aside For meeee. For meeee! FOR MEEEEEEE [epic guitar] So you think you can stone me and spit in my EYEEE? So you think you can love me And leave me To DIEEE? OOOOH, baby! Can’t do this to me, baby! Just gotta get out, Just gotta get right Out of heyaaaah. [more epic guitar] OOOOOH OH YEAH OH YEAH OOOOOOH AAAAAAAA Nothing really matters. Anyone can see. Nothing really matters, Nothing really matters To meeeeeeeee. Anyway the wind blows

Revised Bucket List With Added Oomph

Things To Do Before Dying A Death Caused Possibly By This List Of Things To Do Before Dying:

1. Get in a car chase, crash the car, get a gnarly gash on an arm, sew it up myself with a needle and my own hair, clean with whiskey.

2. Give Richard Armitage a high five.

3. Jump on the bed, hit head on the ceiling until head goes through ceiling, get stuck.

4. Write a murder ballad.

5. Get stranded on island with no food, resort to cutting off own fingers and eating them to survive, get rescued, get prosthetic detachable robot replacement fingers.

6. Get an itty bitty tattoo.

7. Live to see Tomm Moore (Genius behind The Secret of Kells) make animated movies of The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and The Silmarillion.

8. Eat dragonfruit with John Finnemore.

9. Live to see Harry Potter as a TV series with each book as a season.

10. Live to see Tim Burton make claymation movies of A Series of Unfortunate Events

My Take On Hobbit 3 Deaths

SPOILER ALERT!

Although if you live on the internet like I do, you probably already know who dies.

And before you give me the whole, "but that's not how it happened in the book" speech, let me tell you

YES, I KNOW, DARLING. I KNOW. 

Fair warning, don't come within 2000 centimeters of me with that argument, because frankly, I am too tired. 

Anyway, I'm in a mood. So I've decided to give yall a detailed analysis of each character death in The Hobbit so that you can be sad like me.

And when everyone's sad

NO ONE WILL BE. 

Moving on, I'm going to go through the deaths in the order in which they appear.

1. Fili

Saddest movie death ever, possibly just because he's my favorite dwarf, but still, it was very sad. Fili's death, I thought, was saintly, if that's the right word.

Fili and Kili were sent to scope out some ruins to see if there were any orcs. They heard some orcs up on the floor (for lack of a better word) above. Kili was all "heheh lemme at em, time for ass-whupping" but Fili stopped him and told him to go search over somewhere else, and then he went to INVESTIGATE, trying to act tough as nails, but looking scared and making all the fangirls cry. Then he got cornered and surrounded by orcs who somehow took his sword and dragged him to the top of a cliff. Then they held him up for Thorin to see and went, "Yo, Thorin! You suck and we're going to kill your family!" Then Fili yelled at Thorin to run, Thorin shook his head very slightly (whether it was a "no, not Fili" shake or a "no, we're not leaving you" shake, it was very sad) and the orcs stuck Fili in the back and dropped him down the cliff. 

Here's what's awesome about Fili's death: 

1. He died saving his kid brother, which is probably how he wanted to go

2. He knew he was going to be killed since he was cornered, and was very frightened, which makes him all the more brave and heroic and badass. 

3. He died looking at Thorin, which reminded me of the stories in Sixty Saints for Boys/Girls in which martyrs died looking at a cross, which gave them courage. 

4. He spent his last few seconds trying to tell Thorin and Co. to run for it and trying to keep his family safe. 

Ok, death #2:

2. Kili

Gah, this one was sad too. 

One of the saddest most terrible heart-killing-with-sadness things about Fili's death was that when the orcs dropped his body from the cliff, he fell right in front of where Kili was standing. Which was very sad. Kili, understandably, was livid with hot piss, so he ran up the hill and started killing orcs like billy-o. He killed about five or six and then got to Bolg, aka, Lord Voldemort's Pissy Body Builder Cousin. I don't remember if Tauriel showed up before or after Kili got to Bolg, but she showed up and they were both fighting Bolg, and then Bolg pinned Kili down and stabbed him in the chest. 

Here's what was awesome about Kili's death:

1. He died avenging his big brother, which I thought was very lovely of him. 

2. He died trying to kill the second most badass orc in the galaxy, which was very brave. 

3. He died looking at Tauriel who he's sweet on (unless it's 'whom,' I don't know) which is very nice for him, although it sucks for her. 

And then there's #3.

3. Thorin 

Thorin's death made Chuck Norris cry. And then it made Jack Bauer cry. And then it traveled through time and space and made Spock cry. 

Thorin had an epic fight with Azog, which I won't detail because I don't remember all of it and because it's very late at night and I'm tired. The basic outline of it is: Azog almost won, then Thorin won (or so we thought), then Azog stabbed Thorin in the foot, then Azog and Thorin sort of stabbed each other in the gut at the same time. Thorin wasn't dead yet, so he went to watch the Eagles and then fell down and started dying, because that's what you do when you get stabbed in the foot and in the gut by angry orcs who want to kill you. Bilbo found him and they had a lovely chat about how Thorin was sorry he tried to throw Bilbo off the Mountain, and Bilbo was honored to have had adventures with Thorin, and then Thorin basically summed up how Bilbo's the biggest little sweetheart in the galaxy. Then Thorin died, and Bilbo kept talking to him and told him the Eagles were here and everything would be all right, and then Bilbo cried. 

Here's what's awesome about Thorin's death:

1. He died with good company.
2. He made amends with said good company for acting like a butt before he died.
3. He died killing his archenemy.
4. He died believing one of his nephews was still alive (although I'm sorry to say he was wrong about that)
5. He was happy when he died and it was lovely.

RIP Thorin, Fili and Kili.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Good night!

Ice Cream Flavors: Part 2

Update:

Gold Medal Ribbon is now Wilbur (as in the pig)

Icing On The Cake is now Bargeglina because she likes cake

World Class Chocolate is now Civil Rights because it's got interspersed white and dark chocolate

German Chocolate Cake is now Lost (as in the show) because there's too much going on and nobody knows what's happening

Jamoca is now Cool Runnings

Jamoca Almond Fudge is now Cool Runnings 2: Dawn of the Sled

Quarterback Crunch is now Rudy

Pralines 'n' Cream is now Linens 'n' Things. I don't know why.

Honey Apple is now Luthien because it has "both the sweet and the bitter." Actually it's more sour than bitter, but I don't care.

BBC Baseball

I decided to make a baseball team out of BBC characters.

Who's on First

Watson Second

I Don't Understand's on Third

Except for Second and Third are the same bloke. Darn

Ice Cream Flavors According To Lore

Here's something to do next time you're bored: the next time you're bored, get a job at Baskin Robbins, close on a Friday night (which is longer than a Thursday night) with a co-worker who is reluctant to discuss Zombie Apocalypse Strategies, become bored again, then suppress the boredom by re-naming all the ice cream flavors according to your favorite nerd lore.

Of course, if you're me, which you aren't, because I'm me at the moment, and now I've got too many half-sentences separated by commas so I forgot what I was talking about and I'm just going to keep typing until I remember what it was-right, here it is: if you're me (which you're not) you can skip the first two steps because you already have a job at Baskin Robbins with a co-worker who is reluctant to discuss Zombie Apocalypse Strategies and are subsequently now bored a second time, so you may then proceed to re-naming all the ice cream flavors according to your favorite nerd lore. 

So without further ado, here's 

Ice Cream According To My Favorite Lore

Vanilla is now Caradharas because it's white and cold. 

Chocolate is now Kingsley Shacklebolt's Head

Strawberry is now A Study In Pink from series 1 of Sherlock

Cherries Jubilee is now Cherry Valence from The Outsiders

Rainbow Sherbet is now Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Wild and Reckless Sherbet is now Sirius Black because he's wild and reckless. 

Strawberry Cheesecake is now Game of Thrones because it looks like blood in snow. I haven't actually watched Game of Thrones, but I know there's a lot of blood and winter is coming. 

Made With Snickers is now The Battle of Five Armies because it's sweet, but it's a little salty like all our tears. 

Rocky Road is now Lights of Earendil because the marshmallows in the chocolate are like like lights in a dark place when all other lights go out. 

Mint Chocolate Chip is now Dean Winchester's Eyes because sometimes it's green and sometimes it's black.

Cookies 'n' Cream is now Supernatural Season 7 because it looks a little like Leviathan Goo Splatter

Chocolate Chip is now Mulan because it looks like a lot of little Huns buried in snow

Egg Nog is now either Azazel's Eyes because it's yellow or Hufflepuff because it's yellow. I can't decide. 

Pumpkin Pie is now Camp Greenlake because it's orange

Pistachio Almond is now Magnusen, because "pistachio" sounds like an Italian combination of the words "piss" and "mustache," both of which may be attributed to Magnusen from Sherlock series 3. 

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is now Snape's Patronus because his Patronus is a doe. 

State Fair Fried Dough is now Lily Potter because her Patronus was also a doe, but she was fried by Voldemort. 

Is that too soon?

I think that's too soon.

After all this time?

Always. 

Peanut Butter and Jelly is now Dante's Inferno because it looks and probably tastes horrendously bad, also because the jelly ribbon goes round in circles and looks like the Seven Circles of Hell

Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is now Sam Winchester because it's a little crumbly and hard to pack and can't keep itself together. 

Peanut Butter and Chocolate is now Sam Winchester In Hell because it's like a combination of Dante's Inferno and Sam Winchester, but without the jelly. 

Daiquiri Ice is now Superman's Ice Palace

Nutty Coconut is now Gilligan's Island

Butter Pecan is now Bitch, Please (scuse my Klingon) because they have the same initials and I couldn't think of anything else. 

That's all I got, Beth out. 

2015 and Deep Family Discussions

Happy 2015!!

To start off the new year, my brothers and I had a Deep Discussion re how many words in the English language are synonyms for the word poop.

Here's how it started:

One of them (I forget who) stated the obvious.

Me: No, crap, Columbo.
Isaac: What?
Me: Yeah, you know, instead of "no sh**, Sherlock." Or I could've said "no, poop, Poirot."
Thomas: Or "no, crap, Clouseau."
Me: Xackly.
Isaac: Or "no, stool....." hrmm.

[pause]

Me: Are there any detectives that start with F?
Thomas: Miss Frizzle?
Me: "No, feces, Frizzle!"

[pause]

Isaac: .....are there any words for "poop" that start with M?
Me:*thinking*
Thomas: *thinking*
Me: I'll Bing it.

[pause]

Me: Bing says "bankrupt, cripple, drain, draw, fatigue-"
Isaac: What's that have to do with poop???
Thomas: psh.
Me: Bing has failed. I'll Google it.

[pause]

Me: Google says "dung, feces, ejectamenta-" BAHAHA
Thomas: *snort-laughing and crying*
Isaac: *snort-laughing and crying*
Me: *snort-laughing and crying*
Thomas: I have to go ejectamenta.
Me: *more snort-laughing and crying*
Isaac: *more snort-laughing and crying*
Thomas: *more snort-laughing and crying*
Me: Oh, look, manure!
Isaac: OH YEAH "no, manure, Monk!"

Fair warning, I'll be using "ejectamenta" in place of "poop" from now on.