Battle Of Five Armies Trailer

The second trailer for Battle of Five Armies is taking a million years too long to be released. So I'm making my own trailer.

Unfortunately, I don't know how to do that, so I'm going to give you a written description of what happens in it.

♪ Epic music ♪ 

Bilbo: This is like, the best video ever made.

♪ Epic music ♪ 

Bilbo: Thorin, even though you were a jerk to me, I'll always be your friend.
Thorin: Aw, you're so sweet, Bilbo.

♪ Epic music ♪

Galadriel: Why does everybody think we're in love?
Gandalf: I don't know. We're not in love.

♪ Epic music ♪ 

Bilbo: These are Moria Orcs. They will outrun you.
Thorin: These are Battle Goats. I'd like to see them try.

♪ Epic music ♪

Kili: Remember Elizabeth's theory about our "relationship?" She was totally right.
Tauriel: She's a genius.
Kili: I know, right? And she's bewitchingly good-looking.
Fili: Ditto that.
Bofur: Takes one to know one.

♪ Epic music ♪

Smaug: *fire*

♪ Epic music ♪

Epic title sequence 

THE HOBBIT: THE UNEXPECTED DESOLATION OF THE FIVE ARMIES. 

COMING NOT SOON ENOUGH. 

BATTLE GOATS RULE.