How To Not Be A Complete Wacko

After living on this Earth for 21 years, I've decided to conclude that there are way too many people who need to take a chill pill.

That is, each one of them has to take a separate chill pill. It's not like there's one huge chill pill for all the people who need to chill. Because that would be like trying to put one giant chocolate chip into several little cookies, which doesn't work.

If you happen to be one of the several million people on this planet who needs to take a chill pill, and you don't have access to a chill pill of any kind, here is

How To Not Be A Complete Wacko

by Yours Truly.

1. Don't text someone you only just met about your sister's invasive surgery on her personal anatomy. I don't know your sister, but she probably doesn't appreciate it.

2. Don't try to convince someone you don't know that he [in this case she] needs to make drastic changes in his [her] life.

3. Don't hint to said person that if she doesn't make said drastic changes, she is inadequate as a human being.

4. Don't say offensive things about said person's religious beliefs.

5. Don't smell weird and then try to hug said person.

6. Don't suggest to said person that her mental illness is not a relevant issue.

I think that covers it.

Also,

7. Do compliment person on her awesome shirt as you walk by. The words "nice shirt,"though said with very little effort, are appreciated.

8. Also, don't have the following conversation:
Hopefully Not You: I'm studying this, this, this, and this.
Me: Wow, that's awesome!
Hopefully Not You: Yeah.

Instead, have this conversation:
You: Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse?
Me: Yep.
You: Me too.

Anyway I'm tired. Good night!