Dick and Jane's The Silmarillion: Ainulindale

This is JRR Tolkien's The Silmarillion retold Dick and Jane style.

Note: I don't know how to type an e with two dots over it, so I'm not going to, and don't go telling me I spelled everything with the wrong e because I know.


Part 1: Ainulindale


Oh, look. Look and see.
See Iluvatar. See Eru.
Eru is Iluvatar. Iluvatar is Eru.
Hello, Iluvatar.

Oh, look. See Iluvatar make music.
Oh! The music turned into people!
Hello, people.
They are the Ainur.
The Ainur are kindled with the Flame Imperishable.

See the Ainur sing.
Sing, Ainur, sing.
Here is Melkor. Hello, Melkor.
Melkor sings badly. Stop, Melkor.
Sing louder than Melkor, Iluvatar.
Oh, look, he is now.
Thank you, Iluvatar.

Here is a vision.
This is a vision of Arda.
"Ea!" says Iluvatar.
Oh, look! Now Arda is real!
Oh, no! Melkor wants to rule Arda!
Stop it, Melkor!

Some of the Ainur want to go down to Arda.
They are the Valar.
Hello, Valar. Go down to Arda.
Oh, look, there they go.
Oh, there is Melkor again.
Melkor still wants to rule.
Melkor is ruining the Valar's work.
Go home, Melkor.