Sunday, September 7, 2014

Poem #41: Doug

Here's another one for Mary, who found this lovely picture.

Disclaimer: I know this is incredibly stupid, and I don't care.

Also please don't think that I think Doug is a stupid name because I'm using it in this context of stupidity, I think Doug is a nice name and I know of some very nice people who belong to it.


Doug once went a-huntin’ with his trusty knife and gun
He said, “I’ma shoot me up some bears ‘n’ lions just for fun.”
He went deep into the forest, set hisself down on a rock,
Threw some bullets in his gun and then turned off the safety lock.
Suddenly, from ‘round a sycamore where Doug commenced to lean
Came the biggest-ass kitten Doug had ever, ever seen.
It proceeded then to belt him in his head and facial parts,
till his nose was all a-bleedin’ and his ears were all a-smarts.
Doug said, “Varmit, you done pissed me off, you furry-ass disgrace!”
So he took his trusty shotgun and he shot it in the face.
Then he took his knife and took the skin off all its bones and lard,
And he thought it mighty pretty, so he made a leotard.



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