Disclaimer: I know this is incredibly stupid, and I don't care.
Also please don't think that I think Doug is a stupid name because I'm using it in this context of stupidity, I think Doug is a nice name and I know of some very nice people who belong to it.
Doug once went
a-huntin’ with his trusty knife and gun
He said, “I’ma shoot
me up some bears ‘n’ lions just for fun.”
He went deep into the
forest, set hisself down on a rock,
Threw some bullets in
his gun and then turned off the safety lock.
Suddenly, from ‘round
a sycamore where Doug commenced to lean
Came the biggest-ass
kitten Doug had ever, ever seen.
It proceeded then to
belt him in his head and facial parts,
till his nose was all
a-bleedin’ and his ears were all a-smarts.
Doug said, “Varmit,
you done pissed me off, you furry-ass disgrace!”
So he took his trusty
shotgun and he shot it in the face.
Then he took his
knife and took the skin off all its bones and lard,
And he thought it
mighty pretty, so he made a leotard.
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