I was going to begin this post with the usual justification, "because I'm bored," or "I'm just taking a break from homework," or something like that that is supposed to make me sound remotely sane, but decided not to.
I'm actually writing this because I jolly well feel like it, and because the Internet is the perfect place for people like me to release their Mental Nerd Diarrhea, and I might as well take advantage of it.
Anyway, here's what I think happened after Rapunzel and Eugene got back to the Kingdom and Rapunzel was reunited with her parents:
Note: I don't know Rapunzel's parent's names, so I'm going to call them Mr. Rapunzel and Mrs. Rapunzel.
Mr. Rapunzel: Wait, who's he?
Rapunzel: Oh, he's my new boyfriend. He died a few hours ago, but I brought him back to life with a magic tear.
Mrs. Rapunzel: You can bring people back to life?
Rapunzel: Yes, I have healing powers because of that magical flower you apparently ate when you were pregnant with me.
Mr. Rapunzel: Well, that's brilliant! Because one of the peasants came complaining today that his uncle was dying of spattergoit, so we can go over there and you can save him!
Rapunzel: Ok!
(a few minutes later, at the peasant's house)
Mr. Rapunzel: Hello, Peasant! This is my daughter Rapunzel. She has healing powers. A few hours ago, her boyfriend died, and all she did was cry on him and then he came back to life, so I have complete confidence that she can save your uncle.
Peasant: Brilliant!
Mr. Rapunzel: Ok, Rapunzel, do your stuff.
Rapunzel: Ok....only, sorry, it's just, I don't really feel like crying right now.
Peasant: What?? This is a very sad situation! My uncle is about to die!
Uncle: Gaaaaaaaaaghhhh.
Rapunzel: Yeah, I know, it is sad. But-no offense-I don't even know you people, so I don't really feel like crying.
Peasant: Well, of all the-
Mrs. Rapunzel: Hey! Maybe she can do something else, like, I dunno...
Eugene: I know! Rapunzel, pee on him!
Uncle: Gaaa-what? Ugh!
Rapunzel: That's a great idea, babe, but I don't have to pee right now.
Eugene: Hang on, I'll get you a coke.
Uncle: Um, scuse me-
Peasant: Don't talk.
Uncle: No, really, I don't think-
Peasant: Seriously, shut up.
Eugene: Ok, got the coke!
Rapunzel: Thanks, babe! (drinks it).
Mr. Rapunzel: So, do you have to pee now?
Rapunzel: .....no.
Mrs. Rapunzel: What? You just drank a massive coke!
Rapuznel: Yeah, but, you know, it takes like an hour to go through your system and get to the bladder. Sorry.
Eugene: Then what was the point of having me get you a coke?
Rapunzel: I sort of fancied one.
Mr. Rapunzel: We'll have to think of something else then.
Mrs. Rapunzel: Can you spit on him?
Rapunzel: Well, yeah, but I have to sing at the same time, and I dunno if that's possible.
Eugene: Try it.
Rapunzel: Ok. ♪ Flower-pbbbt-gleam and-pbbt-glow-pbbt ♪
Uncle: Gaaaghhhh (dies).
......
Mr. Rapunzel: Oh. Well, that's unfortunate.
Peasant: You bloody morons! What the heck was that?
Mrs. Rapunzel: Um..
Peasant: This is so typical! See what happens when you put your faith in the government?
Mr. Rapunzel: Um, yes, terribly sorry about that...
Peasant: I mean, who voted for you? It sure as hell wasn't me!
Mr. Rapunzel: Well, you see, we weren't elected. We were sort of, er, born this way-
Peasant: Listen, supreme executive power derives from a mandate of the masses, not from just being born that way!
Mrs. Rapunzel: Be quiet!
Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power, just because-
Rapunzel: Shut up! Just shut up! (shakes Peasant)
Peasant: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
Rapunzel: Bloody peasant! Oh, wait, I think my coke's gone through. I can pee now.
Peasant: Ah, excellent. We'll give you some privacy.
(Later, Rapunzel comes out of the house)
Peasant: So, did it work?
Rapunzel: Well, yes, and no.
Peasant: What does that mean?
Rapunzel: He came back to life, ish, but we waited too long, so now he's an Undead Zombie.
Peasant: Oh, hell's bells! That is typical!
Eugene: So...what now?
Rapunzel: Well, I think the best thing to do now would be to run away as quickly as possible, because he's coming.
Thus began the Zombie Apocalypse. Everyone died.
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