Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The Musical

Act 1: In Which Harry Laments His Being Stuck In Privet Drive Being Attacked By Dementors ("Strange Things are Happening To Me" from "Toy Story")

(Harry)
♪ I was on top of the world, living high
nothing I did was errant
I was living the life
Things were just the way they should be

When, from out of a spell, like a bomb
came that punk who killed my parents
Now all of a sudden
some strange things are happening to me

I had friends, I had lots of friends
Now they're having fun without me
And I'm stuck here in Privet Drive with no company

I had power, I was respected
But not anymore
And I just got attacked
by some jerk Dementors

Let me tell you 'bout the
straaaaaaaaaange things are happening to me
straaaaaaaaaange things
straaaaaaaaaaange things are happening to me
ain't no doubt about it

All this summer I thought I was alone
It turns out I've been stalked
The minute you turn your back
there's weird strangers following you

They think you're a git
for protecting yourself
with some magic
Then they get you expelled
from the school that was so homey to you

Straaaaaaaange things are happening to me
Straaaaaaaange things
Straaaaange things are happening to me
ain't no doubt about it
straaaaaaaaange things...♪

Act 2: #12 Grimmauld Place ("Till I'm Grown" from "The Jungle Book")

(Sirius)

♪ Myyyyyy old hommmme
myyyyyy old hommmme
myyyy old hoommmmme
my old home

Mother's screaming in her portrait
Kreacher's cleaning while he moans
Everyone wants me arrested
So I have to stay at home

Myyyy old hommme
myyyy old hommmme
Everyone wants me arrested
So I have to stay at home ♪

Act 3: Fred, George, and Ginny Celebrate the Result of Harry's Hearing *This part is in the book, not the movie. Fred, George and Ginny dance around the table singing ♪ he got off he got off♪* ("Under the Sea" from "The Little Mermaid")

(Fred, George, Ginny)

♪ The hearing is finally over
And Harry won't be expelled
'Cause Dumbledore came and saved him
from eternal Muggle Hell

And now we can have a party
to celebrate for our chum
and Dumbledore who's a smarty
cause he rescued Harry's bum

Harry got off
Harry got off
Fudge can't expel him
Dumbledore spelled him
just like a boss
Now Harry can go back to school
even though Fudge is such a tool
Drinks all around we
must have a party
Harry got off!♪

Act 4: Professor Umbridge ("The Life I Lead" from "Mary Poppins")

(Umbridge)

♪ A wizard teacher must be a general
the students' future lies within her hands
I will inform the ministry when there is need
when things are getting out of hand.

A wizard ministry is run with precision
A wizard school requires nothing less
Tradition, discipline and rules must be the tooools
without them
disorder!
catastrophe!
anarchy!
in short, we have a ghastly mess!♪

Act 5: In Which Hermione Proposes Harry Teaches Defense ("The Perfect Nanny" from "Mary Poppins")

Hermione: Wanted: a teacher for two adorable children.

♪ If we want to learn defenses
we need someone else to teach us
Handsome face, no warts-

Ron: That's the part I put in!

(Hermione)

♪-learn spells, all sorts.

You must be smart, you must be noble
very brave and very humble
Teach us some jinxes, give advice
charge us no price

If you won't scold and dominate us
we will never give you cause to hate us
we won't hide your spectacles so you can't see
but skrewts in your bed
or maggots in your tea

Hurry, Harry
Many thanks, sincerely

(Ron and Hermione)

♪ Hermione and Ron ♪

Act 6: Fred and George's Fireworks ("The Bare Necessities" from "The Jungle Book")

(Fred and George)

♪Look out for magic fireworks
Our super magic fireworks
Forget about your homework and your tests
I mean the magic fireworks
That make Professor Umbridge shirk
For our fantastic fireworks are best

There’s no one more meaner
So please make her leave
And when she’s mean give her
Hell from us, Peeves

And special discounts to all those
Who want to crush her witchy toes
‘cause we’ve got premises for our shop
To sell joke stuff and bring us to the top
So maybe, try a few
And watch our fireworks, we made them just for you! ♪

Act 7: In Which Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, and Ginny Go Off To Rescue Sirius ("One Jump Ahead" from "Aladdin")

(Harry)
Gotta make
One jump onto the thestrals
One trip away from the school
Me and Voldemort will have a duel

One jump ahead of his henchmen
To save Sirius from the foes
Those guys don’t appreciate I’m pro

(Ron)
 Harry…

(Hermione)
 think first!

(Ron)
it’s a trick-

(Hermione)
for sure!

(Harry)
I don’t think it is guys...

(Ginny)
Hey he’s here let’s help him out, guys!

(Harry)
I don’t need your help,
You’ll get in my way
Then you all will meet your doom

Ron: Doom?

(Luna)
Yes, but Harry, we’re part of the squadron

(Neville)
We’re supposed to fight the villains’ crime

(Hermione)
I’d blame parents except he hasn’t got ‘em

(Harry)
Sirius will die, if I don’t go now
Tell you more about it when I’ve got the time

One jump onto the thestral
I wish I had my broom
These things sometimes make me want to swoon

One flight over to London
That’s where Sirius is
This time nobody is coming with.

(Hermione)
Harry!

(Ron)
Wait up!

(Ginny)
We won’t-

(Neville)
Give up!

(Harry)
You might never come back…

(Luna)
Look! There goes a Crumplehorn snorcack!

(Harry)
Don’t have time for this
Sirius might die
Fine, then you can come along

One jump ahead of the villains
One hop ahead of the chumps
Or Sirius faces disaster
They’re fast, so let’s be faster
Here goes, gotta throw my hand in
Wish me happy landin,
All we gotta do is flyyyyyyy!

The End. 

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