The Bat in the Hat

The Bat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss and DC Comics and Christopher Nolan

(narrated by Commissioner Gordon)

I looked at the crime
there was too much to fight
so I stayed in my house
all that cold, cold, dark night.

I sat there with Harvey
we sat there, we two
and I said, "how I wish
there was something to do!"

Too much crime in Gotham
the crooks were too tall
so we sat in the house
and did nothing at all.

So all we could do was to
sit! sit! sit! sit!
And we did not like it.
Not one little bit.

And then something went BUMP!
How that BUMP made us jump!

We looked. Then we saw him
step onto the mat
We looked, and we saw him:
The Bat in the Hat!

And he said to us,
"Why do you sit there like that?
I know there is crime and the crooks are so scary.
But I am here now, so all crooks must be wary!
I know some defense we can use," said the Bat.
"I know some good tricks!" said the Bat in the Hat

"A lot of good tricks.
I will show them to you
And Rachel will not mind
at all if I do."

Then Harvey and I
did not know what to say.
'Cause Rachel was out
of the house for the day.

But the press said "no, no!"
make that Bat go away!
He looks really mean.
we suspect it's foul play!

"He should not be here.
He should not be about.
He should not be here
when Miss Rachel is out."

"Now now! Have no fear! Have no fear!"
said the Bat.
"My tricks are not bad."
said the Bat in the Hat.

"Why we can have
lots of good fun. Take a look!
Here's a game I call
UP UP UP with a crook!"

"Put me down!" said the crook.
"This is no fun at all!
Put me down!" said the crook.
"I do not wish to fall!"

"Swear to me," said the Bat
"Before I let you down.
Swear to me," said the Bat
"there's no drugs in this town!

"You must tell me right now
You must promise me that!
Or this is not all I will do!"
said the Bat.

"Swear to me! Swear to me now!"
said the Bat.
"Or I will let you fall!
I can promise you that!

"I will let you fall down
to the dark street below!
I will let you fall down
'cause I do hate you so!

"Don't think that right now
I'm not having a ball!
And this is not all I can do
Oh, no. This is not all...."