A Murder Mystery

I'm bored.

So,

here's a murder mystery.

Once upon a time, there was a great detective named Detective Inspector Major Brains. DIM Brains was the greatest detective in all of California. He was, in fact, better than everybody else in California. One day, a woman came into the Police Station crying and sobbing something about a Missing Husband named Sir Lord Count du Fuss. The Countess du Fuss said that her husband had gone out to walk the dog two days ago, and neither he nor the dog had shown his face, or any other part of his body for that matter. To comfort her, Brains offered her a chicken sandwich, which she didn't like, so she threw it into the recycle bin. Remember this, O Best Beloved, because it is important.

After the Countess du Fuss had calmed down, Brains offered to search her home for clues as to where the Count du Fuss might be. When they arrived to the Count du Fuss's estate, Brains questioned the butler, the maid, the housekeeper, the cook, and the gardener as to his whereabouts. Each denied that he had seen the Count since he went out to walk the dog. Brains then searched the house, and found nothing except for everything that was inside the house. Then he proceeded to search the grounds. When he reached the curb where the trash bins were waiting to be emptied, he smelled a terrible smell, a smell that could only be produced by the remains of the rotting dead body of the Count du Fuss and his dog.

Brains opened the trash bin, but the Count was not inside. He then opened the recycle bin, and there was the Count, hacked into pieces with his own chainsaw. Brains knew at once who it must be, and he pointed an accusatory finger at the Countess du Fuss. The Countess was arrested and spent the rest of her life in prison. The police asked Brains how he knew it was the Countess. But all Brains would say was, "A chicken sandwich is not recyclable. And neither is a dead body."

The End