Sunday, July 28, 2013

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: The Musical

*Note: I'm tired of summarizing the bits of the books that I'm not including in the songs, so I'm going to skip that and assume that you know what's going on.

Act 1: The Triwizard Tournament ("76 Trombones" from "The Music Man")

(Dumbledore)

♪ There will be three wizards in the tournament
Facing three deadly tasks for a prize
The prize will be loads and loads of galleons of gold
And eternal glory ‘till you die

Hogwarts and Beauxbatons, also Duuurmstrang
One from each school is picked to compete
First you must write your name and put it in the flames
In the goblet standing next to me

But, however, there are several limitations
If you’re not seventeen, you may not compete
So I have drawn an age line ‘round this area
 And you can’t fool it though you’re discreet

When the names are in, the goblet will choose three of you
One of you from each school as the champion
Then the champions will face three deadly challenges
By decree, out of three only one can win

But what is this? The goblet is freaking out
It should not be, all three have been picked
Goblet says Harry here must fight among his peers
Though he only is fourteen! ♪

Act 2: SPEW ("Sister Suffragette" from "Mary Poppins")

(Hermione)

♪We’re clearly soldiers for house elves’ rights
Together we’ll help all to see the light
Though Dumbledore is wise and elderly
When it comes to house elves’ rights he’s rather stupid

So! Cast off the shackles of yesterday!
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray
And when they’re free they will adore us
And they’ll sing in grateful chorus!
“Well done! S. P. E. W!"

From Beauxbatons to Durmstrang
One hears relentless cries
From every corner of the land
“Elvenkind, arise!”
Political equality and equal rights with us
Take heart! For Dobby and Winky will be given socks and stuff!

No more the meek and mild subservients they
We’re fighting for their rights, militantly
Never you fear!

So! Cast of the shackles of yesterday
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray
And when they’re free they will adore us
And they’ll sing in grateful chorus
“Well done! S.P.E.W!” ♪

Act 3: The First Task ("I Have Confidence in Me" from "The Sound of Music")

(Harry)

What will this task be like? I wonder….
What will my future be? I wonder….

It could be so exciting
To be up in the air with my broom
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, but I just feel like I’m doomed

I thought I wanted to enter
The tournament when none ever dared
Now here I’m facing adventure
But why am I so scared?

Dragon and one gold egg…
What’s so fearsome about that?

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don’t I just know I’ll turn back
I must concentrate to get my broomstick
I must summon the broomstick I lack

The broomstick I’ll fly on with reliance
Face the judges without defiance
Show them I’m worthy, and while I show them
I’ll show me so
Let that dragon spew its fire
I’ll do better than my best
I have confidence he’ll put me to the test
But I’ll make it see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them
I will be swift and brave
And that dumb dragon, Heaven bless him
He must put up with me

And try to stop me but he won’t be able
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the gold egg will be mine
Besides which you see, I have confidence in me!

Strength doesn’t lie in Viktor!
Strength doesn’t lie in Fleur!
Strength lies in me, I’m Harry Potter
When I fly up-fly up!

Then I’ll tell Ron I didn’t touch that goblet
And then he will be my friend
I have confidence in confidence again……

Oh, help.

I have confidence in confidence again!
Besides which, you see,
I have confidence in meeee! ♪

*Note: I know the dragon's sposed to be a girl, it just rhymes better. 

Act 4: The Yule Ball ("A Girl Worth Fighting For" from "Mulan")

(Harry and Ron)

For a long time we’ve
been searching for some females
It’d be easier
to ask them out by e-mail
We must learn to dance
And catch a glance
from girls we don’t abhor

(Ron)
Hey! Let’s try to find
A girl worth fighting fooor!

Hermione: huh?

(Ron)
That’s what I said!
A girl worth fighting for!

I want her pretty as the moon
With eyes that shine like stars

(Harry)
I’d like to go out with Cho Chang
She likes my lightning scar

(Fred + George)
I wouldn’t mind
If she was kind
And a good joker
As long as she’s not good at poker

(Harry)
Bet you’ll sweep up all the girls just like a blizzard

(Ron)
And I’ll bet the ladies love a famous wizard

(Harry and Ron)
You can guess what we
Are searching ‘round
The Hogwarts castle for
What do we want?
A girl worth fighting for!

(Ron)
My girl will think I have no faults

(Harry)
And I’m a major find

(Hermione)
How ‘bout a girl who’s got a brain
Who always speaks her mind?

Harry and Ron: Nah!

(Ron)
My handsome head
And hair of red
Are sure to thrill her

(Harry)
He thinks he’s such a lady killer

(Malfoy)
I’ve a girl back home who’s unlike any other

(Ron)
Yeah, the only girl who’d love him is his mother

(Harry and Ron)
But when we’re done searching ‘round this place
For one we can’t ignore
We will have found
A girl worth fighting for
Wish that I had
A girl worth fighting for!

Act 5: The Second Task ("Chim-Chim Cheree" from "Mary Poppins")

(Harry)

♪ Swim swimminy, swim swimminy, swim swim, swerreed
I feel like a fish, ‘cause I ate gillyweed

Swim swimminy swim swimminy, swim swim, sweroom
I’ve got to save Ron before he meets his doom
I’ve got to save Ron b’fore he meets his doom!

Now as I’m swimming
down under the lake
You might think my legs
Are beginning to ache

Though I’ve spent my time
Just rescuing Ron
I must save the others
Before they’re all gone

Swim swimminy, swim swimminy, swim swim, swerreed
I feel like a fish, ‘cause I ate gillyweed

Swim swimminy swim swimminy, swim swim, sweroom
I’ll save all the captives before they meet their doom. 
I'll save all the captives before they meet their dooooom! ♪

Act 6: Voldemort's Return ("Toad's Last Little Song" from "The Wind in the Willows" [1995 version])

(Voldemort)

♪ When the foe.....came......home.
When the foe........came........hoooome.

We used bones from my father
and flesh from my slave
we used blood from Harry Potter 
We tied him to the grave!

When the foe....came....home.

Bang! go the wands! 
The muggles will be frantic!
And because I'm such a manic
Muggle-borns will panic!
One by one, they all will vanish! 

POOF! POOF! POOOOOF! 


And I'll ruuuuule theeee wooooooo ♪


Death Eaters: ]:<


Voldemort: ...ooooorld...Heh! don't like my songs, eh? Well, it's entirely your loss of course. Ptuh! poor fellows. 


♪ Shooout "Hooray!" 

I hear each one of my henchmen shouting very loud
In honor of Lord Voldemort of whom they're very prouuuuud
'cause it's Voooold's 
Greeeeat
Daaaaaaaaaaay! ♪

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