When your cable TV has no interesting channels, you get bored.
When you get bored, you go on an adventure with dwarves and a wizard.
When you go on an adventure with dwarves and a wizard, you get lost in a cave.
When you get lost in a cave, you steal a magic ring from a schizophrenic psychopath.
When you steal a magic ring from a schizophrenic psychopath, you start turning into a schizophrenic psychopath.
When you start turning into a schizophrenic psychopath, your wizard friend makes you give your magic ring to your nephew.
When you give your magic ring to your nephew, your nephew goes on long dangerous journeys.
When your nephew goes on long dangerous journeys, the ring starts turning him into a schizophrenic psychopath.
When the ring starts turning your nephew into a schizophrenic psychopath, he puts the ring on.
When your nephew puts the ring on, his finger gets bitten off by a schizophrenic psychopath.
Don't have your nephew's finger get bitten off by a schizophrenic psychopath. Get rid of cable, and switch to Direct TV.
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