More On Batman Begins

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS OFFENSIVE CONTENT AGAINST CHRISTOPHER NOLAN'S BATMAN BEGINS

A couple of days ago, my brother Anthony was watching Batman Begins. I didn't watch it with him, but I was popping in an out while doing other stuff, and sort of half-watching it. I saw Batman Begins for the first time a few years ago, and thought it was great, but not nearly as great as Adam West's Batman. That, like I said, was a few years ago, so when I saw bits of it now, I noticed some things in the plot/characters/what-not that bothered the b'gosh out of me. So, if you are a die-hard fan of Christopher Nolan's Batman, stop reading now, because I'm going to roast it.

The first thing that bothered me is that while Bruce is sort of a criminal and he's in Some Sort of Prison Camp and gets chucked into Solitary Confinement, Raj Al Gool or however you spell it is waiting for him. So he sort of intuitively knew somehow that Bruce was going to beat the snot out of some Fellow Prisoners and get chucked into Solitary Confinement at that time on that day. That, or he was just sitting there waiting for Bruce to beat the snot out of some Fellow Prisoners and get chucked into Solitary Confinement. Plus, Bruce isn't Sufficiently Weirded-Out on discovering that he has a Weirdo Stalker with a mustache and a Weirdo Name. But maybe that's just me.

Thing That Bothered Me #2 is Bruce Wayne as a kid. He's a sweet kid and all that, but he says almost all his lines with the same inflection in his voice.

"Did you build this TRAIN, Dad?
"BETter men?"
"Can we GO?"

I don't know how to type voice inflections, but whatever.

Thing That Bothered Me #3 is that there's a sort of Remote Group Of Ninja People in The Middle of Nowhere, and they've singled out a Random City across the Globe in America, and decided they'd like to destroy it because they think it sucks. Not that it doesn't suck, it probably does, but it's not like The Middle Of Nowhere gets the Daily Gotham Times that talks about all the crime and corruption in Gotham. And they don't use technology like TV or computers, so they wouldn't hear about How Much Gotham Sucks through the news or the Drudge Report or Facebook. That's like a group of Amish people in America deciding that they have to go and put an end to crime and corruption in Timbuktu. Not that there is crime and corruption in Timbuktu. I don't know squat about Timbuktu. But Timbuktu doesn't know squat about me, so I'm all right with that.

Coming back to Bruce Wayne As A Kid, I don't understand why they're in this Big Fancy Opera House, and decide to use the Teeny Exit that opens up to a Dark Spooky Alley. I don't think I've ever been to an Opera House, but I have been in a few orchestra concerts, and there's usually a Grand Entrance Hall With Lights And People and most of the other exits are Emergency Exits and make a bit of a fuss if you try to open the doors. The ones that aren't Emergency Exits are usually ones just for the performers, and sometimes you sort of have to go backstage in order to get to the door.

Anyway I wonder why Bruce's parents would want to take their 10 ish year old son to an opera featuring bats, which they pretty much know scare the heck out of him. If they wanted to have a Nice Family Outing, they should have taken him to see Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 or Land Before Time 35566322, or they should have gone on a picnic or out for ice cream or something.

Bruce: Hey, Mom and Dad, I want to go on a Nice Family Outing.

Bruce's Dad: Ok! That's a great idea we'll do that!

Bruce's Mom: What do you want to do?

Bruce: Oh! You know how I've got this Massive Phobia of Bats? Can we dress up in our Uncomfortable Dressy Outfits and go see a Creepy Opera With Lots Of Bats?

Bruce's Dad: Why, Bruce, that's a magical idea! Of course we'll do that.

Bruce: Hooray! I'm the Luckiest Boy in Gotham!

I don't remember much of the rest of the movie. It was good, but it didn't tickle me as pink as I would have liked to be tickled. Apologies if you're a Christopher Nolan Batman Fan.