Saturday, July 20, 2013

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: The Musical

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: The Musical

Act 1: Harry Blows Up Aunt Marge ("Casey Junior" from "Dumbo")

Harry Potter's blowing up his aunt
blowing up his aunt
he won't stop, he can't

She said nasty things about his dad
Harry Potter's dad
and it made him mad

Harry's now afraid he'll be expelled from school
Then he'd be a muggle, it would not be cool

So Harry Potter's getting on the bus 
getting on the bus
to escape the fuss ♪

(Harry goes on the Knight Bus to The Leaky Cauldron where he meets Fudge who tells him that he's not going to be expelled. Harry hears about Sirius Black escaping from Azkaban and meets up with Hermione and The Weasleys. Ron's rat Scabbers is mostly dead. Hermione buys Crookshanks. Ron hates Crookshanks. Harry goes to Kings Cross with them to get on the Hogwarts Express)

Act 2: Mr. Weasley Warns Harry About Sirius Black ("Heffalumps and Woozles" from "Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too")

(Mr. Weasley) 

♪ In Azkaban the prison
there's someone 
who's missin'

In Azkaban a murderer is gone gone gone gone 

The school is guarded by the
Dementors
howeva

Dementors sometimes don't know right from wrong wrong wrong wrong

He wants to kill you, Harry
so very
bewary

He's murdered folks of every shape and size size size size

Don't try to find him, Harry,
he's much, much,
too scary

And everybody here wants you alive

He's bad! 
He's mean!
He's very keen!
He wants you dead!
He wants your head!
He's far!
He's near!
He's gone!
He's here!
He's quick and slick!
He's insincere! 

Beware! Beware! Beware! Beware! BEWAAAAAARE! 

(Harry gets on The Hogwarts Express. He, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny find a compartment with Professor Lupin who is asleep. Then Dementors come and scare the living daylights out of everybody except for Lupin who shoots a patronus at it and gives everybody chocolate. Harry is especially wigged-out because the Dementors made him remember Voldemort killing his mum. After they get to Hogwarts, they find out that Lupin is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and Hagrid is teaching Care of Magical Creatures.)

Act 3: The Boggart ("Spoonful of Sugar" from "Mary Poppins")

(Lupin)

In every Boggart fight that's won,
there is an element of fun. 
You find that fun, aaaaaand SNAP! 
The fight's a game!

♪ And every Boggart that you take
becomes a piece of cake
a lark! a spree!
It's very clear to see

Thaaaat aaaaa
room full of laughter 
helps the enemy 
go down
the enemy 
go doooown 
enemy
go down

Just a room full of laughter 
helps the enemy
go down 
In the most delightful way

Professor Snape will make you laugh
when he's in Neville's Granny's hat
and now the Boggart has to change its shape
Although he's scary at first sight
a little laugh will win the fight
And now
You know
his shape is just for show

Just a room full of laughter
helps the enemy
go down
the enemy 
go doooown
enemy
go down

Just a room full of laughter 
helps the enemy
go down
In the most delightful way ♪


(Harry has a Quidditch match during which the Dementors make him fall off his broom and his broom gets totaled. Fred and George give Harry the Marauder’s Map, and Harry uses it to sneak into Hogsmeade where he overhears a conversation about how it’s Sirius Black’s fault that his parents are dead and he’s Harry’s godfather. Harry gets a Firebolt in the mail from somebody mysterious and he, Ron and Hermione squabble over what to do about it.)

Act 4: Ron Suspects Crookshanks of Eating Scabbers (“Hellfire” from “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”)

Hey, you, Hermione
You know you’re s’posed to be my friend
Of my pet rat I was justly proud

Hey, you, Hermione
You know that Scabbers wet his pants
Whenever your cat Crookshanks was around
Then tell me, Hermione
Why my rat is now deceased
Why you let your kitty eat my pet

I loved him, I mourn him
The sun caught in his ratty hair
Is something that I never will forget

So tell me
Hermione
Why you just let your cat
Eat Scabbers
Hermione
Your kitty killed my rat

It’s all your fault!
You are to blame
My rat is dead
Now life will never be the same

It’s all your fault!
Was it your scheme
To make your cat do something really really mean?

Protect me, oh Harry
Don’t let Hermione cast her spell
Don’t let her magic sear my flesh and bone

Let’s go now, Harry
And let her go on by herself
We’ll go away and leave her all alone

Hermione
Hermione
Admit your cat’s at fault
Choose me or
Your kitty
And face my wrath’s assault

God have mercy on you
God have mercy on me
I just wish my rat had not been caught. ♪

(Harry gets the Firebolt back. Ron wakes up yelling in the night because Sirius Black was there with a knife, so everybody has to move to the Great Hall while the teachers sweep the castle.  Harry sees Peter Pettigrew in the Marauder’s Map and goes after him, but runs into Snape and Lupin. Lupin gets Harry out of trouble with Snape, then yells at him for being an idiot and takes the Marauder’s Map. Hermione tells Harry and Ron that Buckbeak is going to be executed. Ron and Hermione are friends again. Hermione walks out of Divination. Professor Trelawney makes a prediction and Harry freaks out. Harry, Ron and Hermione visit Hagrid and find Scabbers. Buckbeak is apparently executed and Scabbers runs away. Ron runs after Scabbers and a black dog runs after Ron and they go in the tunnel under the Whomping Willow. Harry and Hermione follow and find Ron with Sirius Black. Lupin shows up. Sirius is innocent. Snape shows up. Everybody blasts Snape at the same time. Scabbers turns into Peter Pettigrew. Everybody gets out of the Whomping Willow and is attacked by Dementors. Harry thinks he sees his Dad patronusing the Dementors. Fudge and Snape think they’re all insane and say that Sirius will be kissed by the Dementors. Dumbledore tells Hermione to use the Time Turner. Harry and Hermione go back in time, Ron can’t because his leg’s broken.)

Act 5: Harry and Hermione Rescue Sirius (The Wonderpets Theme Song)

(Harry)
♪The clock
The clock is ticking

(Hermione)
♪We’ll turn it back in time

(Harry)
The clock
The clock is ticking

(Hermione)
♪Harry’s godfather’s in trouble
Harry’s godfather’s in trouble
Harry’s godfather was framed for a crime♪

Harry: Look! He’s up in the tower
It seems to me
He looks upset
What could the problem be?

(Hermione)
♪It’s Harry’s godfather
And he’s going to be kissed
By the Dementors
He’ll be kissed by the dementors
This is Sirius!
We have to help him♪

(Harry)
♪Let’s save my godfather!
Let’s save my godfather
Let’s save my godfather!

(Time Turner Activated)
Harry and Hermione: Wheeeee!

♪Harry
And
Hermione too
We’re Gryffindors and we’ll help you
What’s gonna work?
Teamwork!
What’s gonna work?
Teamwork!

Gryffindors, Gryffindors
We’re on our way
To rescue Harry’s godfather
And save the day
We’re not to big
And we’re not too tough
But when we work together
We’ve got the right stuff
Gooooo Gryffindors!
YAAAAY!♪

 (Harry and Hermione rescue Buckbeak. Harry makes a Massive Patronus and saves everybody. They fly Buckbeak up to Sirius. Sirius escapes. Harry and Hermione go back to the future. Everybody’s happy and there’s jam for tea.)

The End 


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