A Note to Scrupulous Catholic Geeks

There probably aren't many people who meet every criteria listed in the above title all at once, but I had a thought and I feel sort of obligated to share it, because it made me feel good, so if there happens to be anybody who's exactly like me, it might make him feel good too.

I don't think I've said this before, but I'm Catholic and I tend to be very scrupulous, that is, I think a lot about whether or not I'm a bad person and I worry a lot that I am, and I spend a lot of time scolding myself. And in case you haven't noticed, I happen to be a Tolkien Geek. This aggravates my scrupulosity, because I often tell myself, "why aren't you as obsessed with your faith? Christ's story is actually real, why aren't you as into that as you're into Lord of the Rings and stuff? why do you look at Tolkien stuff on pinterest when you could be looking at icons and religious stuff and Bible verses?" But the fact remains that I like Tolkien's world very much, and I can't turn it off, and I'm very often at war with myself over whether or not I'm a bad person for reading The Lord of the Rings more often than I read the Bible.

Today is Sunday. I was at Mass this morning, and something occurred to me. I like Lord of the Rings so much because I see Christ in the story and in the characters. I discovered a podcast a few years ago by Prof. Peter Kreeft who analyzed the story and pointed out several things in it that reflect Christianity, and after I heard it I loved The Lord of the Rings even more.

So, to my fellow Scrupulous Catholic Nerds, don't hate yourself for being a Tolkien Nerd, or a Batman Nerd, or a Narnia Nerd, or whatever kind of nerd you are, when you feel you should be more of a Catholic Nerd. God obviously made you a nerd, and He made quite a lot of them, and I believe He gave us access to our nerddoms so that we can find Him through them.

Also, last week, I was at Mass and my scrupulosity was beating me up for my nerdity, but then I suddenly had the distinct feeling that God forgave me for being a nerd, and was perfectly ticketty-boo with it.