Dreams

I'm having a very weird night. I've been about two-thirds of the way asleep for about an hour, but not completely asleep, and I've been having a lot of weird dreams. I'm sharing them with the cyberworld mostly because I want to tell my big sister about them and I'm afraid I'll have forgotten by tomorrow.

First, I was watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with my family. My brothers kept making all kinds of sound effects, which was really annoying my big sister Mary, so she yelled at them and they walked out the room ashamed with their heads bowed.

Then Mary and I paused the movie to get a snack. Mary stuffed a tremendous amount of food into her mouth and then started saying the Our Father for no apparent reason. Only, in the dream, the Our Father had the word "whore" instead of "trespasses," so Mary said (with her mouth stuffed with food) "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who BOO, YOU WHORE. HA HA HA HA!"

Then, in the dream, I was trying to go to sleep. I was in a ginormous movie theater, and The Hobbit 2 was playing. There was a close-up of Thorin, and I thought, "gosh, Thorin's so handsome. I could eat a miniature version of his head in a bowl with salad-dressing, along with all the other miniature dwarf-heads."

Then, I was on campus at school, and it was dark. There was a large bridge connecting the science building to the art building. I was in the science building trying to get to the art building when suddenly, I and my Nameless Faceless Colleagues were attacked by a lot of Wood Elves (I think). Right before they attacked us, the Wood Elf Leader said something like, "All right, men! Are you with me?" The first two said, "Yes sir!" but the third one said, "No, I'm scared." Then they charged. Some of my Nameless Colleagues ran to the bridge and quickly assembled some kind of Bear Trap Made Out Of Swords. then the Wood Elves stabbed the Bear Traps, which were triggered and clamped onto their swords, thusly rendering them weaponless, so they had to run back.

When I got tired of that dream, I decided to switch to a different one. Mr. Bean was at a public restroom, except for there were a lot of men in the restroom with him dressed in drag, so he got really scared that he had gone into the women's restroom by accident.

This is why, as I said before, I never refer to my goals and aspirations as "dreams." It's just wrong.