More on The Hobbit

Don't get me wrong, I love Thorin in the movies, but he's brilliant in the book.

Here's Thorin and Thranduil:

"Why did you and your folk three times try to attack my people at their merrymaking?" asked the king.

"We did not attack them," answered Thorin; "we came to beg, because we were starving."

"Where are your friends now, and what are they doing?"

"I don't know, but I expect starving in the forest."

"What were you doing in the forest?"

"Looking for food and drink, because we were starving."

"But what brought you into the forest at all?" asked the king angrily.

At that Thorin shut his mouth and would not say another word.

...

And here's some Fili:

"I hope I never smell the smell of apples again!" said Fili. "My tub was full of it. To smell apples everlastingly when you can scarcely move and are cold and sick with hunger is maddening. I could eat anything in the wide world now, for hours on end-but not an apple!"

...

And here's some Bombur:

"I'm always last, and I don't like it," said Bombur. "It's somebody else's turn today."

"You should not be so fat." [said Thorin].

...

And here's some Dori and Nori:

"You've left the burglar behind again!" said Nori to Dori looking down.

"I can't always be carrying burglars on my back," said Dori, "down tunnels and up trees! What do you think I am, a porter?"

...

And some Dwalin, Balin, Bifur and Bofur (after the barrels):

Dwalin and Balin were the most unhappy, and it was no good asking them to help. Bifur and Bofur were less knocked about and drier, but they lay down and would do nothing.

...

SPOILER ALERT

I would just like to acknowledge that in the book, Fili and Kili are always the most cheerful and the most helpful and they are the ones who die trying to protect Thorin. They've been my favorites since I was about 7. When the third movie comes out, I'm going to bawl. No, I'm not. I'll just be sad. I never really cry watching movies. But if it were up to me, I'd put "At Your Service" on their tombstones because they did the greatest service.

OH That gives me an idea. If I get married, I want me and my husband to have separate gravestones so that I can have an arrow carved on mine pointing in his direction with the caption "I'm With Stupid." That would be mean, but we might have a laugh in Heaven. Unless God chucks me out for it.