Batman vs. Batman

I just realized, my blog is named after Batman, but I haven't actually said anything about Batman yet. That's very sad.

My brother Isaac and I have been having a feud about which Batman is superior: Christian Bale or Adam West. He roots for Christian Bale. Just to clarify, by "Batman," I don't mean just the character, I mean the whole set up with all the gadgets and villains and situations he gets in and stuff. I don't root for Christian Bale because Adam West is the best Batman in the history of every Batman that has ever, ever existed.

This is why:
1. He's able to take down his enemies with pure brute strength complete with POWS and WHACKS so that the audience knows what's going on, and he has brute strength without having to do 500 pushups every morning.

2. Everything is labeled, including the Joker's henchmen, so that we know what everything is.

3. Batman is humble enough to admit that he needs a sidekick.

4. Robin. enough said

5. The Villains can build elaborate death traps to kill Batman and Robin and don't submit to the villain-stereotype of using guns

6. The audience learns important lessons about justice, romance, and grammar through Batman's advice to Robin throughout the series.

7. The characters appreciate the power of puns

8. Batman is able to save people without their actually dying. except for that one idiot lady who tried to impersonate Robin and then fell in a vat of nuclear waste, but that wasn't Batman's fault.

I could go on, but I'm stating the obvious here.

I've always wish that Batman and Robin would have some sort of deadly encounter with fecal matter, because then Robin would get a chance to say "Holy crap, Batman!" If that happened, I could ask for nothing else in the world.

Christian Bale is all right, but he relies on his ninja skills and bat-throwing stars rather than courage, integrity, and a sidekick. If Christian Bale had Robin, they could've saved both Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes, and they could've done it without getting Harvey's face all messed up.

Conclusion: Adam West is the Batman we need, but not the one we deserve.