The French Revolution (Dick and Jane style)

This is part of a project I did for World History in my sophomore year. Kudos to my Ma for being brilliant and coming up with the idea.

See King Louis. Come, Louis. Come to the Guillotine. The Guillotine chops off heads. Chop, guillotine, chop. See Louis. See the guillotine chop off Louis' head. Oh, now Louis does not have a head. Now he can not be the king. Now nobody is the king. Now there is a republic.

Oh, look. This is Robespierre. Now Robespierre rules France. Rule, Robespierre, rule. "Oh, now I am in charge." Says Robespierre. "I like the republic. I want the Republic to stay forever. I will kill anyone who does not want the Republic." Oh, look. See Robespierre. See Robespierre kill lots of people. "Oh, this is fun!" says Robespierre. "I like being the ruler. I am making lots of people afraid. I will call my rule the Reign of Terror, because everyone is afraid."

Oh, look. See the people. Oh, see. The people do not like Robespierre. Come, Robespierre. Come to the guillotine. Chop, guillotine, chop. See the guillotine chop off Robespierre's head. Now Robespierre does not have a head. Now Robespierre can not rule France.

Before doing this project, I had learned the French Revolution at least 100000 times, and never remembered it, but now I still remember it after doing the project four years ago. It should be a requirement for all teachers of every subject to make their students re-write stuff Dick and Jane style.

It'd be a bit hard for math though. But you could say, "oh look. See the negative number. See the negative number underneath the radical. Oh, the radical does not like the negative number. "oh, you are irrational," says the radical."

The only thing is, after doing that project for history, I started thinking like that, so I can't imagine what it would be like after doing it all year for ever subject over 12+ years of education. You'd probably be stuck in Dick and Jane mode for the rest of your life, and everyone would start talking like that. I can imagine Obama saying, "Oh, look. Look and see. See my new health care plan." It would be embarrassing with him talking to foreign ambassadors like that, cause I think Dick and Jane is an American thing and the ambassadors wouldn't know what the heck's wrong with these stupid Americans and think that we're even stupider than they think we are now.

I don't actually know whether or not Europeans think we're stupid, that's just what I've heard. I've never had a European person come up to me and say "you're stupid."

I've always thought it would've been neat if Americans had stayed British and the Revolution had never happened. Then we'd have a queen instead of a president and Congress and all that. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with our government; I understand government about as much as an Orc understands dental hygiene. I just think having a queen or king would be neat, plus we wouldn't have to go through all the annoying presidential campaign advertisements. The British have been happy with a monarchy for about a billion years, so it can't be all that bad. Like the annoying peasant said, "strange men sitting in oval offices distributing health care plans is no basis for a system of government." Something along those lines.