How to Take a Break

A couple of weeks ago, my Agriculture professor assigned us a paper on Banana Pesticide And Its Effect On Workers In Nicaragua. I happened to be doing something else for the last two weeks, so I started the paper today around 11:00. I've worked on it for about 5 hours today, so I'm up to my ears in bananas and pesticide and Nicaraguans, so I'm taking a break.

Usually for me, a break consists of a beverage and a tv show on my laptop in bed with the laptop on my lap.  Generally, this is what happens:

I go to the kitchen and get myself a Delicious Beverage. Pepsi and I are no longer on speaking terms, so today I made myself an Iced Tea. Once I have thus obtained said Delicious Beverage, I put it on my desk and sit on my bed and put my laptop on my lap and go to Netflix or Hulu or whatever. Once I've picked out a show to watch, I hit play, thus playing said show. The problem is that my desk is almost two feet away from my bed so I can't reach for my drink while I'm watching whatever I'm watching, and I don't want to lean way over to reach for it because then my laptop will fall off my lap and onto the floor and get totaled and won't work even if I try turning it off and on again.

So I just watch the show without drinking my Delicious Beverage, and then when it's over, I think "ok it's over, time to get back to work." But then I see my Delicious Beverage on my desk and think "I haven't finished my Delicious Beverage yet, that means my break isn't over" so I watch another episode. But the thing is, watching another episode doesn't move my desk closer to my bed, and the only time I drink any of my Delicious Beverage is while I'm thinking about what to watch next. So, finishing one drink takes about fifty episodes of whatever I'm watching. I can't put the drink on my bed because then it'll spill on my bed and then my bed will be wet.

If there's one thing I have fault with God with (how the #$%@ do you word that sentence) it's that He made belly buttons too small to be used as cupholders. If my belly button were a bit bigger and less lumpy at the bottom, it would be an ideal cupholder. But it's not. So I have to watch fifty episodes of whatever I'm show I happen to be hooked on before I finish my drink.

On the other hand, if belly buttons were big enough to be used as cupholders, than somebody with an outie belly button would look weirdly pregnant in only one part of the stomach, so that probably wouldn't work.

Ok this is completely off topic, but it's driving me up the flipping wall. My hair is in a ponytail right now, and it's sticking out of the back of my head at a right angle so I can't lean my head against the wall. GAH. Besides having a bigger belly button, I'd like to have collapsible hair so that when my ponytail's sticking out of my head at a right angle I can lean my head against the wall without having a huge lump at the back of my head.

Anyway, so I'm taking a break now with my iced tea. I was going to watch the new episode of Psych, but so far the majority of my break has consisted of waiting for the dumb video to load.

So my advice is next time you take a break from your Agriculture paper on bananas and pesticides, move your desk closer to your bed so you can reach your iced tea.