Hockey

I am not a sports person. Right now, my family's watching a hockey game in the next room and about an hour ago, I tried to watch it with them in a desperate attempt to be social, but it didn't work. First off, I don't understand sports. I was going to write a sentence here that started "I can tell you..." and then finish it off with something brilliant and non-sport-related that I can do, but I can't think of anything. So I'll just say, I've got enough brains to get along with, but I don't understand sports at all. My analysis of a football game is sorta like that of Moss and Roy from The IT Crowd:

"Whow! What a MATCH! All the players....running up....the pitch! And running....back down again...Such ATHLETICISM!" 

Plus, when I try to watch hockey, I can't tell what the heck's going on, cause YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE PUCK. It's like trying to shoot a hummingbird with a pea shooter. My eyes can't follow it at all cause it's too darn small and fast, and what with the players moving around all over the place, there's too much going on. I get too distracted wondering how the heck they can even move with big godzilla gloves and watching them move around on the ice. My uncle'll be yelling and screaming at the TV cause of some stupid move one of the players did, and I'm thinking "wooooooow they're ICE SKATING." 

Another thing is, once and a while when the commentator dude's talking about the puck and what the puck's doing, I'll think he just said a disgusting swear word. I know he didn't, but sometimes it takes me by surprise cause the way he said it sounded close to it, like he didn't pronounce the "p" with enough lip. That would be kinda fun to hack into the system and make the BLEEP sound whenever he says the word "puck," just to mess with people. 

Thinking back, I don't think I've ever said the f word, except when it's just me and my big sister and her boyfriend, and I'm trying to poke her buttons. I've said the s word a few times when I'm by myself and feel the need to, but I try not to do it in front of my Ma or the pastor at our church. That would be bloody rude. 

Anyway I don't know anything about Hockey, so that's all I got to say about that. I'm going to bed cause I'm tired and feel like I've been run over by a truck from all the miscellaneous what-not and falderall in my life. 

Night!