Weird Food Court Cases

Anyone want to hear something hi-freaking-larious?

I was just now finishing up my hour of studying for my Food Science class on Food Law and Regulation, and I came across a court case that the courts decided to call "United States vs. Ten Cartons of Ener-B Nasal Gel." That made me snort-laugh like an Idiot. It sounds like a really really bad horror movie. ATTACK OF THE ENER-B NASAL GEL! Next time I get rich and famous, I think I'll make a movie out of that. There'll be a Quiet, Dark-Haired Pale Kid with ESP who has a strange connection with Ener-B Nasal Gel, and finds out that 10 Cartons of Ener-B Nasal Gel have a secret plot to take over the US. The Quiet, Dark-Haired Pale Kid'll have a parent or mentor or something played by Nicholas Cage who senses that something's wrong with this Quiet, Dark-Haired Pale Kid, and decides to conduct an Investigation, only to discover at the last minute that the 10 Cartons of Ener-B Nasal Gel are planning on being sold and used by 10 Unsuspecting Humans, who will then become Contagiously Possessed, and it's up to Nicholas Cage to save the country before it's Too Late. Except for there'll be a twist in the end where it turns out that Nicholas Cage is a Vampire Who Craves Human Blood Spiked With Ener-B Nasal Gel, so he'll kill everyone, and the country won't be possessed, so everybody lives Happily Ever After.

There was another court case called "Pharmanex v. Shalala." That sounds like a Deranged Female Pop-Star battling her addiction to Pharmacist-Repellent. I think I'll make a movie of that too, but I can't decide who should star in it.